The Cheesecake Rebellion
by Typewriter44
Summary: Slash yaoi boyxboy adult themes - warning given. AU. Naruto Uzumaki has a one night stand with a guy named Sai. End of Story? I think not. Naruto's in for a manic rollercoaster of drag princesses, petty crimes and a Belgian chocolate cheesecake recipe
1. Chapter 1

**The Cheesecake Rebellion**

**Author:** Typewriter44

**Pen Name:** Wes Hadley

**Warnings:** Slash yaoi boyxboy love some actual sex later, adult themes, swearing, AU and all that goes with it

**Chapter Summary:** Naruto Uzumaki meets a guy named Sai - stuff happens. Review please

**Archive**: If you ask then yes

* * *

"I want a 12, a 43 hold the pickles and two black coffees" Naruto called as he suck the order onto the wheel in the window between the kitchen and the service area. "Table 6 wants a refill on the sodas and we need more bagels out here"

Temari stuck her head out of the kitchen door and looked at the baskets by the till. "Jesus we're out again?"

"Yeah, go figure" Naruto shrugged as he grabbed a new pen to replace the wasted one and headed towards the tables. "What's up with Mike? Is he going to put in an appearance today?"

"No such luck, we're busy and that means he has to do the accounts - or more precisely the accountant" Temari sneered. "As if that walking set of breasts can fucking count past ten" she was giving up cigarettes again, that made her cranky. "Damn him and that slut he hired, the only accounts she probably does is when she a-counts the amount of men lining up to do her"

"Chill" Naruto said. "We're good to go"

"Not really" Temari muttered. Naruto glanced at her but she was already pulling on her hairnet and disappearing back into the kitchen. The Diner was small, not as busy as it looked - it worried Naruto, unless it was the lunch hour rush or dinner time rush they didn't have that many people in the place at a time.

Mike was letting this place go to the Dogs.

Damn the fucker.

* * *

Naruto crashed down onto the sofa of his tiny hole in the wall apartment and let out a long groan. He hated his job. He hated the dull eyed college stoners that worked part time alongside himself and Temari. He hated that he smelt of ham-like-lunch-meat-substitute.

Speaking of which he needed a shower.

He stood up and unbuttoned the work shirt which needed a serious wash even though it was already very, very washed out looking.

The giggling caught his attention as he stood in the living room. "Sakura!?" he called as he approached the room. "You'd better not be naked and having sex!"

"There's be something on the doorknob if I was" she cooed from inside. "Come on in"

Naruto opened the door and recoiled. "Ah!"

"Hi - eh - Naruto, right?" the girl said, looking over her shoulder.

"You went lesbian and didn't tell me!?" Naruto shrilled as Sakura peered around the slender hips of the figure.

"You idiot" she muttered as she finished sewing the hem of the pleated black skirt. "One, I'm as straight as an arrow…well depending on my cosmopolitan intake" she pointed at the black haired girl. "And two this is Haku. She's a he!"

"Yup" the girl-no-guy nodded cheerfully. "Sakura's getting me ready for a talent show" he posed in the school girl costume. "I'm doing "Oops! You did me again!" what do you think?" he winked. Naruto paled a little.

"Excuse him Haku, I did warn you what he was like" sighed Sakura as she closed her sewing kit and removed her blouse and began searching her cupboard for clothes. "His gayness is suppressed, he likes cock and that's about it, nothing more"

"Look at you miss uninhibited" Naruto muttered. "I still remember when you were floral patterns and unicorns" he grumbled.

"Yeah when I was 12" she scoffed. "Quit living in the past, Naruto" She pulled on a turtleneck. "You're just in a way-bitchy mood because you smell like spam". Naruto grumbled but Sakura winked at him. "Chill out, Naruto. What's wrong with you anyway? Aside from the spam thing?"

"Just work" he sighed. "It's vile as vile can be. Three years in culinary arts school and I'm bussing tables" he groused. "Living off instant ramen and struggling to pay the rent…"

Sakura rubbed the top of his head affectionately. "Well I'd tell you when there was an opening in the GAP but they'd never let someone who dresses like you work there. You're not the only one with a few troubles. That jerk Miller fired me from the hospital because I wouldn't blow him!" Naruto winced at the memory of that.

The Miller guy had circled rumours about Sakura stealing some supplies from the hospital and she'd gotten fired only a few months after becoming a full fledged doctor. It was a real pity her parents were doctors too and she was an excellent one herself, a regular child prodigy with perfect grades…and now she had to work in The Gap…

"You guys are throwing yourselves a regular pity party" Haku said. Naruto's jaw dropped as Haku stood utterly naked in the middle of the room. He immediately blushed red and looked away as Haku got changed. "Seriously, come with me to the opening tonight. It will be a blast!"

Sakura beamed a 1000 watt smile. "Great idea! Naruto and I are in!"

"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Naruto only for Sakura to give him The Look and silence his protests. "Eight sound good?" he croaked.

Haku now stood in a scoop necked purple sweater and jeans. "Perfect" he grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair and took the bag with his girl costume in his other hand. "Sakura knows where - dress sexy" he winked at Naruto and headed out.

* * *

What had Sakura signed him up for?!

MIST.

"It stands for Men In Speedo Thongs" Sakura said sagely as they cued for the entrance.

"Okay! I'm out!" Naruto exclaimed as he turned to go. Sakura and Haku snagged an arm each and pulled him back as he tried to slip under the velvet rope outside the pumping nightclub.

"She's kidding!" Haku reassured him, he was dressed in tight jeans and a wide open black shirt that barely covered his nipples. "Wow, you really are as repressed as she said"

"I'm not repressed I just don't need to be overly gay" Naruto grumbled as they approached the door. "I don't need to be a screaming queen. This really isn't my scene so much…"

The bouncer loomed over them, bronzed, big and muscled to perfection. A little too muscled for Naruto but incredible shoulders. "ID" he boomed. Haku pulled his ID from his pants and handed it to the bouncer who scanned it.

"Will you be inside later?" he asked

The man looked at him. "…Yeah…I got indoor duty"

"Do you get a break?"

"…Yeah"

"Wanna spend it with me?"

The man's lips twitched into a smile but then the other bouncer at the other side of the entrance called his name. "Hey! Zabuza! Quit trying to fuck him in your head and do your job!" the guy barked.

"Whatever" Zabuza muttered as he let them in. Haku waved back at the guy with painted nails and gave a giggle. "Now there's a man I like" he sighed.

"I'm sure he was thinking there's a girl I like" Sakura giggled as she checked her long black coat. Naruto handed his jacket over and hurried after the pair into the club.

"Is that a Cher remix?" he groaned as he surveyed the clean white club from the balcony. There were gyrating guys in cages and at dance poles. There were very few women in the club so Sakura had very little competition for gay-man-straight-woman-dance-love. Haku gave a girlish giggle as the shirtless bartender waved to him.

"Oh my God! I don't believe it!" he exclaimed. "Kotetsu! He's looking really well, got rid of the nipple piercing though. Well they're not for everyone" Haku grabbed Sakura's arm and she in turn grabbed Naruto's dragging him with her to the bar.

"Hey Haku" Kotetsu said as he cleaned a glass. "The usual?"

"Oh yeah, same for my girls here" Haku grinned. The shots were out in the blink of an eye and prevented Naruto explaining how much he hated being called a girl.

"Onetwothree!" shrilled Sakura with excitement as they knocked back the shots. Naruto winced as the drink burned a little. "Wow! Loving it!" she said. "Let's dance!" she exclaimed.

"Pass" Naruto managed to say through his slightly numbed tongue and lips. What the hell had been in that!?

"You take care of him" winked Haku to Kotetsu before letting Sakura haul him onto the dance floor. Kotetsu smiled at Naruto.

"What'll it be?"

"Vodka. Double." Naruto sighed.

"Atta boy" the spiky haired guy said.

"Why do you have a those three bandages on your face?"

"I'll tell you after your 13th drink"

Naruto made it his business to get spectacularly drunk in situations like this. He turned around and bumped into a pale guy.

"How many is that?" he slurred over the bar

"About 15" Kotetsu smiled slowly. Naruto spotted Sakura dancing in the midst of sweaty, shirtless gay boys and Haku was in a corner with Zabuza, getting close, so close their drinks were touching. Yeah there was one drag princess on the verge of a happy night.

Naruto felt he was being watched through his drunken haze. He turned around and saw the figure, a statue of white marble in the middle of dancing shadows. It was like some …sort of…commercial where the perfect…bottle of…soda was lit up like a beacon of …soda-ness

Wow he was drunk off his face.

The guy smiled slowly and approached the bar. "Cock sucking cowboy" he called to Kotetsu

"I know you are, but what am I?" grinned the bartender as he mixed the cocktail. The pale skinned guy turned to look at Naruto.

"Hi"

"Mwudf?" Naruto was far from articulate when he was drunk this badly. "I mean hey to you too".

"You're full of Christmas cheer" the dark haired boy smiled as he moved a little closer. "See you later?" he asked as he moved away from the bar having knocked his drink back in one go.

"Yuh" Naruto managed with a slow blink. He turned around and looked up at one of the go-go dancers on stage. "Hi" he said vacantly at the guy who just rolled his eyes and kneeled before Naruto, unzipping his hot pants.

"Do you guys wear name tags?"

The dancer gave another grunt of apathy and continued to molest the pole before him.

"Just a question"

"Go sober up" the dancer muttered.

"Fine then"

"Shikamaru be polite to the customers" one of the other dancers called across the floor as he gyrated against a some dude who had climbed up after him.

"Whatever" the dancer muttered.

Naruto looked around Sakura had vanished into the core of the group, she was a teetotaller and very anti-drugs so she wouldn't be in any risk. She knew how to look after herself…so Naruto could go home.

He climbed the stairs out of the dance floor area, sunken down to give a view of the bay area nearby. He headed for the cloakroom with a heavy head, he was going to piss as soon as he got home, but not here, he didn't like being sized up when he pissed.

"So do you have a penis?"

He jumped and glanced at the pale guy with his barely-long-enough shirt and tightest-of-the-tight black leather pants.

"What?" Naruto murmured.

"Seriously, do you have a cock?"

Naruto flushed red, sure he was drunk but his rage was quick to rise at any point in time and any state of mind. "Shut up bastard" he snarled as he snatched his jacket back from the check girl (he tipped her well as an apology).

"What? So you don't have a dick?"

Naruto burst out of the door and stalked away. He glanced over his shoulder to spot the guy following him, pulling on a leather jacket. "Hey, wait up!" the guy shouted as he hurried after Naruto who continued to stomp away. "So do you or do you not have a cock?"

"What's it to you"

"I'd like to see it"

Naruto blinked and looked at the soft, smiling lips, slim pale face and dark eyes.

"Come again?"

"I'd like to see your penis"

Naruto took a moment. "Uh - hang on - what is going on here?"

"I'm being direct, I was reading a self help book and it said that honesty was the best policy for meeting decent guys" he smiled softly and looked a little nervous. "I like you." He stepped in a little closer. "I think you like me too"

Naruto was obviously incredibly drunk because he'd completely lost why this all sounded logical to this guy. "Okay so you were asking me if I had a wang because - what? You want to see it?"

"I admit to being a little drunk tonight" the guy said. "But I really do think we could…"

Naruto kissed him hard on the mouth. "That was the worst pick up line in history, never use it again" he said breaking the kiss for a moment before grasping the guy's leather clad butt and pulling him in tight against his body. Their erections pressed together and damn was it hot. This guy made Naruto shiver with anticipation…parts of him were twitching as he pressed his tongue deeper into the warm mouth.

Finally he had to give in and breathe again. "What's your name?"

"Sai" the guy said as he sucked in the cool night hair in steady gasps riddled with excitement. "So you don't like my honest curiosity?"

"Okay…Shut up and let's go" Naruto growled, lust filling his eyes even more than the alcoholic stupor did with the hazy sheen drunken eyes held.

Naruto grabbed Sai's hand and pulled him towards the road.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

In the next chapter Naruto wakes up with someone in bed with him. But he's not interested in anything with Sai...right? Plus Sakura shows off her fancy footwork by avoiding an amorous neighbor


	2. Chapter 2

**The Cheesecake Rebellion**

**Warnings: **AU, yaoi, slash, gay men and a lesbian or two - you should know all this by now…

**Chapter Rating: **M to be safe…

**Authors Note: **Sad: no reviews. Happy: Author alerts! Please review it helps the process a great deal if you tell me what you like and what you don't

**Thanks:** ChocaholicsAnonymous, Lady Tenebrae & Lady Kayo for honouring me with chapter alerts - this one is for you three and I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Sakura opened the door just a crack, biting her lip nervously she slipped out to collect the mail, she successfully reached the post box and gave a small giggle of joy before returning upstairs. "Sakura!"

She froze and turned slowly, forcing a smile as the wide eyed bush browed face peered out from under a bowl cut at her. "Hi, Lee" she said as sweetly as she could. She zipped her hooded top up a bit more to cover her sports bra and continued to smile at him. "How are you?"

"Quite good" Lee nodded. "I've just finished my first 500 push ups of the day. I was about to go on a jog - would you care to join me?" Sakura looked him over in his green jumpsuit and orange leg warmers. He was very polite but…

"No I can't I have to make breakfast, it's my turn today, and Naruto just loves his eggs" she added quickly. "Of course I'll have to go shopping later because we barely have enough food" she then added quicker still. "And we have to do the budget before I can do that". She couldn't leave any opening for him to offer to help. She just didn't want to hurt his feelings by saying no. "And I love maths so…I'd better go wake him up now!"

Lee nodded slowly. "Hey would you like to come to the kick boxing championships?" Lee asked quickly. "See I wanted to ask if maybe you'd like to go…with me…"

Sakura freaked (no that could possibly be an understatement). "I think I hear Naruto demanding his eggs, I'll see you later" she darted into the apartment and shut the door letting out a sigh. She wiped here eyes and took a look around the apartment.

"Man it looks better when you stagger in exhausted at 5am" she said. She checked the clock and nodded. It was 11am. Time to prod Naruto awake, he was due in work at 2pm and if he wanted his eggs he'd need - - - who owned the leather pants over the TV?

* * *

Naruto shifted.

What, in his room, smelt like bubblegum? Tangy and sweet.

Soft

Silky

He felt something smooth shift in his arms and then he felt the pounding hangover hit him. He opened his eyes and looked down, he was wrapped around a slender white body which lay on his chest.

"…….oooooh boy……" he murmured.

What exactly had he done?

Who exactly had he done!?

"What time is it?" Sai asked as he stirred on Naruto's chest. He looked up and looked at a confused Naruto. "Never mind, I should be going anyway" he straddled Naruto's hips, pulling the covers around his hips. "Um - where are my clothes?"

Naruto just went pale in response.

"Not much for pillow talk, are you" Sai muttered as he slipped off the bed and picked up his underwear, a pair of tight boxers. "Ah - wait - I think I get it - you're ashamed - the booze got to you and now you're thinking, what happened here?"

Naruto flushed and tried to articulate words. "It's not that - exactly - just"

"Don't worry about it" Sai said. "I'll see you around or whatever" he picked up his shirt from over the doorknob and opened to door to find a stunned Sakura holding his pants. "Oh, thanks" he said as he accepted them from her and slipped into them. "I had fun Naruto…but you still owe me the story of the tattoo. Bye"

The silence continued long after the door had shut behind Sai.

Then it donned on Sakura that Naruto was naked. "My eyes! GAH!" she hastily slapped her hands to her face. "Naruto this is a side of you I've never seen before…and hope never to see again!" she exclaimed

Naruto clutched the pillow across his private parts and frowned. "What, so I'm not sexy?"

"Not when I'm sober" giggled Sakura. She left the room. "You get dressed and I'll scramble the eggs"

* * *

Sai sat on the steps up to the apartment block and pulled on his boots, lacing them up quickly and then moving on. His cell rang, cheap piece of crap always rang when he was in a good mood. "Hello?"

"Sai"

Of course it was Danzou, who else could it be?

"What is it Danzou?"

"Job, tonight, a business party in the Viridian West Hotel" the voice was gruff and curt - it was Danzou all right. For the owner of a pretty business he was fucking ugly. "I'll send you an email later - it's well paid". Sai felt his stomach lurch.

"What type of treatment?"

Danzou's leer was audible. "Premium - you and the boys report to Yamato before hand, he'll be setting it up. Standard "catering" anyway, after that it's whatever they want."

"Yeah I know" he said quietly. He hung up and felt his stomach threaten to throw out his…never mind - his stomach gave a gurgle of hunger. He was famished beyond belief! He fished out his money from his red belted shiny black vinyl messenger satchel…he loved that bag…

He didn't have enough for cab fare - enough for bus fare sure, but he had no idea where he was so what was the point? He stopped at a street corner and got his bearings as his stomach rumbled again. Sai needed food but he'd walk a little further and find something worth spending his money on.

* * *

Sakura spooned the contents of the saucepan onto the plate in front of Naruto who gulped them down like the human garbage disposal he was. "When are you due in at work?" she tested.

"Four?"

"Two" she corrected. "So lets say One to get you there at ten to two". She sat down with her own plate of eggs and tucked in, though with less gluttonous zeal than Naruto. "This is why I worry about you sometimes…" she took a first bite and smiled mischievously . "So? Tell me about the hot guy"

Naruto stopped eating for a moment. "His name is Sai"

"Did you meet at the club?"

"Yes"

"Is he why you left early?"

"No"

"Did he follow you out?"

"Yes"

"Will you be seeing him again?"

"Nope"

Sakura cocked her head to one side. "Why not?" she mused. "He seems…nice"

"You encountered him for like, 20 seconds"

"Whereas you had several hours with him?" Naruto continued to eat without speaking. "Then at least confirm if the sex was good".

_He tore at the clothes, dug his nails into soft smooth skin as he suckled on the soft pink tongue invading his mouth. "You got protection?" Sai gasped against Naruto's ear as the blonde nipped and bit at his neck and throat. _

"_Yeah" Naruto growled as he shoved the leather pants down and dug his hand down the front of the red boxers. He bit on Sai's neck again and felt the boy thrust into his grip as he moaned with an effort to stifle it so the neighbours wouldn't here._

"Well we - uh - it was - "

_He thrust again, he growled deep in his throat as Sai arched up , their chests meeting as Naruto leaned over to kiss those soft lips hard enough to bruise, taking in the look of pleasure on the perfect white face._

"I mean - if you must know"

_He gasped and grasped the hair tighter in his grip. "Yessssss" he hissed out low and full of need. "Suck it…right there Sai…oh….ah….yes! Ah!"_

"It was…good"

_Incredible,_ his brain spat out on its own. He finished his breakfast at a speed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I need a shower"

"Just don't spunk the tiles and forget to wash them down" Sakura said without looking up from the mail. "It's gross that I have to do it for you"

"I don't do it that often" Naruto said tightly, his facing getting hotter by the second.

"Nor do you have sex or date very often" she paused. "Hang on…when did…was your last date-"

Naruto disappeared as fast as he could, so quick he made Houdini look like a tin elephant falling down a flight of steel stairs. There are some things you never want to talk about.

* * *

Naruto froze as he reached the diner. The sickly feeling of dread washed over him as he saw the sign plastered on the door. Temari stood beside him…her expression was grim and her eyes showed she was upset but more pissed off still.

"Closed down?"

"They launched a surprise inspection and the dick and his busty side kick decided to fucking try and bribe them" Temari said quietly. "Mike's due up in court for it and we're closed down because he left the back door open last night - rats got in, so it looked like a fucking habitat for them last night". She closed her eyes and Naruto looked at her.

A raindrop splashed onto his nose. "That means we're out of a job" he murmured.

"Yup, suddenly and unceremoniously" she looked at the frightened big blue eyes of the young man, in all her 28 years of life she'd never seen a young man look that much like a little boy. "Come on, let's go get some coffee and try to figure things out" she sighed as she patted him on the back and opened out her umbrella.

They turned their back on the diner and walked away from the small stuffy space of their former workplace.

* * *

Sai stumbled in the door soaking wet. Kiba looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "You look like crap - get a gig last night?" he raised his eyebrows. Sai frowned at the boy who was perched on the sofa with his faithful dog Akumaru curled up in a basket at his feet.

"No, just met a guy"

"…and?"

"He wasn't paying for an escort - - - " Sai twitched a little. "It was just going home with a guy. I don't know I just felt like it." He could feel Kiba watching him, the dark eyes digging into the back of his neck.

"Funny, you usually are the wham-bam-thank-you-man style. You slept over?" Kiba asked quietly. Sai shrugged and Kiba stood up, striding towards his roommate. "That a yes or a no?"

"Yes"

"Fucking hell! That's new for you" Kiba exclaimed as he leaned back to look Sai over. "Will you be seeing him again?"

Sai snorted. "Nah. It was a whim - - - I mean he's not my type at all, not rich, a bit stuffy - I mean he's bound to be an accountant or something - and he wasn't interested anyway" Sai picked out a letter addressed to him and then sought out more in the pile of mail. "Not like I can have a boyfriend anyway - I mean it'd be warped."

Kiba frowned. "I guess" he shrugged. "Danzou call you?"

"Yup" nodded Sai. "I got the message. I'd better go get ready"

Kiba nodded slowly. "Ditto. But we have to be careful of how much hot water we use, we definitely do not want to get our bills to high, not with Danzou skimming as much off the top as he does". He let out a long sigh.

"Come on in an join me" Sai shrugged simply. "One shower for two people - it's economic" Kiba unzipped his hooded sweatshirt and tossed it aside, peeling off his tracksuit pants and t-shirt he followed Sai into the shower. Sai shrugged off his clothes and turned on the water.

"So the glamorous life of two party boys is this - stingy showers in a crappy apartment" Kiba slapped the wall and the pipes moaned and clanked before finally shooting out hot water. "I fucking hate our life" he looked around. "Should we have gotten the webcam for this?"

Sai closed his eyes and faced up towards the spray of water.

Naruto Uzumaki…he may never see the guy again…but he would remember last night.

_Sai forced the scream of pleasure deep into his throat as Naruto thrust hard and fast into his body , the blonde's fingers trailed up his side from his hips. Sliding down his arms they entwined with his own digits, he could feel a heart beating on his back, warm breath tickled his ear before teeth dug into his neck._

He touched the spot without realizing it. He could feel the fingers on his hips and wrists and in his hair…he'd been taken roughly before. Truth told he was amazed someone as - - - straight acting and sexually repressed as Naruto had seemed at first could be so dominating…and yet…he'd been gentle somehow.

Sai smiled to himself.

He did want to hear the story of that tattoo…that black sunburst around the boy's bellybutton.

_Sai tore off the shirt and paused to look down. "You have a tattoo…I would not have expected that…" Naruto grabbed him and firmly grabbed his butt in his hands kissing Sai passionately as he did. _

"_Less talk" he growled _

"_Okay by me" Sai gasped as Naruto attacked his throat._

"Hey! Sai!? You listening to me!?" Kiba exclaimed.

"No" Sai murmured in reply.

**To Be Continued**

Sai puts up with perverts at work, Naruto goes searching for a job and finds some good coffee, Sakura avoids Lee some more and a little bit of history regarding Naruto's life.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Cheesecake Rebellion**

* * *

**Author: **Typewriter 44

**Characters:** Not mine unless they have non Japanese names - otherwise they belong to Mr. Naruto! Yes! I do not own them I'm afraid. But someday maybe!

**Chapter Rating:** Strong M for this chapter

**Warnings:** adult content, smut, some bad language as I recall, Belgian chocolate cheesecake, more cameos

**Thanks:**

+hiya couldn't find a name - I'm so glad you like the pairing, I like them more than Sasuke

+Legendary Muse - many thanks, please keep giving me feedback it's much appreciated and I hope I continue to grasp your interest

+ChocoholicsAnonymous - here comes more reason to giggle perversely! Thanks for the review

Many thanks to readers and reviewers, please keep reviewing I would love to hear your thoughts on the story so please keep them coming. They're what keep me writing!

* * *

Sakura finished folding the sweaters and closed her eyes as she let out a sigh. A medical degree, she was a doctor and - - - here she was.

In The Gap.

Folding Sweaters.

She'd had big plans - HUGE plans. And here she was working at the gap. "Hey Sakura!" Haku bounded into the shop like a terrier on gay adrenaline. "How was last night for you?"

"Pretty good -" she said softly. "You were in good form - when Zabuza started humping you against a wall."

Haku sighed and leaned against the sweaters she'd compiled - it toppled over and Sakura's inner self screamed about strangling Haku with her panties…or his. "We went back to his place, I mean I was worried because I'd forgotten my gear - but he has an even bigger collection than me . I mean he's got the latest version of the PaddleMaster series-"

"Stop right there" Sakura said firmly. "Finish telling me anything about what you two did together and I will fold you six ways from Sunday and sell you as a winter coat". Haku gave a grin and put an arm around her shoulders.

"What's up? You going through the nasty side of the cycle?"

Sakura stuck her tongue out at him. "No you prima dumbass - if you must know it's the fact I've not found a guy yet. I mean it's been almost three years - barring a few weeks here and there nothing much. I mean the guys were okay but ugh I just seem to attract the freaks and psychos" she buried her face in a blue sweater and moaned in despair.

"Oh they can't be that bad, princess" Haku said in his patronizing pout voice.

"One guy was sexually attracted to soup"

"Uh…what?"

"Yeah, he filled a bath with cold soup"

"Oh my…"

* * *

"I've wasted my life" sighed Naruto. "I should have stayed home in the village"

Temari sighed and put her cup down with an oddly stern clink. "Don't talk like that, you never liked that place - you're better off here - being free" she said with a growl in her voice. "Look this is just…the situation" she mussed his hair. "We'll bounce back"

"How? I can't win!" Naruto lamented. "I was a freaking outcast at home, I'm a failure here, it's just getting to me."

"You have a qualification - the highest in your class- from a top culinary school!" Temari exclaimed, leaning across the table.

"Yeah - fat lot of good that does me" Naruto muttered. He let out a defeated sigh and stuck out his bottom lip. "I've spent the past year and a half working in a dead end diner as a bus boy and waiter and sometimes a chef and even then all I did was defrost burger buns! If I can't pay the bills then I'll have to go home and beg forgiveness"

Temari's hand slapped the table and Naruto jumped in his seat. "Don't you dare" she said in a low voice. "I've not had it easy, but hell if I'm going back to that trailer park where my dad rules the roost and my mom resents every second of every minute of every day she's trapped there. We'll find you a job - someone out there will crumble for your Spanish omelette!"

"Why my Spanish Omelette?"

"That salsa you have on it is to die for. But your Crème Brulée is good too…or your shortcake biscuits…or the cookies…or the lasagne…or that paella…the stew…" here eyes slid slowly to the man peering over at them, he'd straddled the back of his chair to listen and it was getting pretty freaky. "Can we help you?" Temari said in a cutting tone that implied she would do the opposite if he took her literally.

"Is he really that good?" the guy asked and looked at Naruto.

"He's pretty good, yeah" nodded Temari slowly.

"Cool" the guy handed over the card. "Are you two in the food industry?"

"We were"

"Excellent, see you two tomorrow at three, I'll just be screening a few people" he stood up and took his well read book with him as he left. "It'd be a sweet job, promise" he called over his shoulder and with that he was gone, his spiky silver hair disappearing as he rounded the corner in the crowd.

Temari and Naruto leaned in around the card. "Moments - a new restaurant opening soon" Naruto read off the card. "Hey it's not far from here"

Temari smiled. "Looks like I'm not going back to Sandbox All American Trailer Park just yet" she chuckled. "What a stroke of luck."

Naruto grinned back at her and tucked the card into his pocket.

* * *

Sakura tiptoed along the corridor ever so slowly. She edged towards the door, her keys out careful not to make them Jangle. "SAKURA!"

She jumped a foot in the air and dropped her keys with a loud clatter. Lee stood behind her, his wide eyes holding her in place with awkwardness so strong it could probably stop stampeding wildebeests and make them consider a career in mime.

"Leeeeeeeeee" she exhaled with a strained smile. "Heyyyyyyyyyyy"

"Hello Sakura! I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment"

Sakura inhaled and then unleashed her excuse. "Listenleeyoureniceandallbutijustdontthinkofyoulikethatsoimsorrybutwecantgoonadatebecauseimjustnotinterestedinyouyourereallynicebutyourejustnotmytypeimsorrycanwestillbefriendsbutinaplatonickindawaythatisntboyfriendgirlfriendandmaybewecanjustchill!?"

"Sorry?" Lee said as he scratched his ear. "I got hit in the head at work today and I think I messed up my hearing a bit"

"Hit in the head!? Are you sure you're okay?!"

"Positive - I was hit in the ear, I was not paying attention, actually I was wondering if you might like to maybe go with me…"

"THE PHONE!" Sakura exclaimed as she burst into her apartment and shut the door behind her leaving a slightly spaced Lee in her wake. She let out a long sigh and then sniffed at the scent in the air. Naruto was mulling over the pots before him.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked slowly as she sniffed again.

"Penne Quattro Fromagi" he replied. "Then some Coq au vin and I'm just figuring what I should make for Dessert". Sakura stared at him for a moment. "What?"

"You're cooking something?"

"I cook"

"Instant Ramen doesn't count"

"Well whatever - yeah I'm cooking, so what?"

"This is great!" Sakura exclaimed, punching the air. "What did it? I mean, what made you crack open the recipe cards again?"

"What? Oh I lost my job -" Sakura looked horrified. "- But I got a job interview almost immediately - plus Temari and I found out what out pay from Mike would be" he indicated a slip of paper on the fridge. Sakura examined it and frowned. "It'll see us for rent this month" she said.

Naruto shut his cook book with a resounding snap. "And don't forget my supplies" he said.

"Barely, no nights out for you"

"I know, but I've decided I know what I'll make-" he pulled out a recipe card from the book, Sakura paled and started to shiver. "You're overreacting" he said as he glanced at the card. When he looked back up Sakura was gone, she was now crouched in a corner in foetal position.

"…evil…evil…" she whispered over and over.

"It wasn't that bad!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sakura sighed and stood up. "Naruto, everything you make is delicious, but that recipe is out of the question. You try so hard but your Great Aunt Ina's Belgian Chocolate Cheesecake never works out. In fact last time you tried it, it tasted like the subway smells" she gave the frowning young man a hug. "You don't want to risk it do you?"

Naruto sighed. "I never did figure out why I screwed it up, Great Aunt Ina said that the secret was in how you made it" he sighed. "I wish I could go back and see her…she was so nice to me when I came out." Sakura squeezed him a little tighter.

"Don't you dare go back to that place" she whispered. Naruto nodded and hugged her back. "……..Make me brownies"

"As if forehead face!"

"Why you little!" the punch to his arm knocked him over.

* * *

The Chippendales wore more than this. Sai and about ten other guys were serving champagne and canapés in bowties and cuffs and the briefest of black briefs. The men at the party were fondling them whenever they got too close.

"You could be inspirational to me" a guy said into Sai's ear his hands sliding around Sai's sides and down towards his cross via his hips. "A bit of inspiration for my next book…"

"Take it up with my handler" grunted Sai as he tried to pull away. He hated the fact he'd spent extra time using make up to hide all the marks Naruto had left, that he'd already had to go down on some bearded geezer in front of two other guys. Kiba was being spanked over the knee of some dude - he was enjoying it and was being applauded for it…

Sai wished he shared Kiba's interest in being manhandled like loos change.

"Think about it!" the guy said.

Sai moved on and went to refill his tray of champagne, already visualizing another shower. Danzou was "the King of Adult Entertainment" and Sai was one of his main showpieces. Sai didn't hate Danzou, just the line of work, Danzou had taken Sai in from a street corner - but The Root of Eden was only a little better.

Danzou kept everyone's funds for them, gave them allowances, Sai was at the mercy of the man and he was only realizing it now. He wondered why that was. His walk home the other day had been…different…

The thoughts had all been "what if" rather than "what now". He shook his head and nodded at Shikimaru who was bored as usual, doing bar work in only a bowtie, cuffs and apron. He didn't get the Speedos. "This is troublesome" he grumbled. "Makes me regret getting out of bed"

"Yamato said we were getting bonuses" Sai mumbled.

"Think we'll ever see a penny though?" Shikimaru grunted. Sai picked up his tray and turned away. "Who was that guy the other night?"

"Just some guy"

"Huh -okay- whatever"

Sai remembered that Shikimaru was on go-go cage duty. Never would be Sai's cup of tea, he liked to get close to people, he was learning to be a bit more normal in doing so, but being alone on a stage was just too weird for him.

Yamato approached Sai, his wide eyes were more perceptive than you could imagine but if he focused on someone you knew and so did they. Words could not encapsulate the dread Sai felt as Yamato closed in. "Third door at the top of the stairs, everything's there, get ready" he said simply.

Emotionless as always they exchanged nods and Sai laid down the champagne tray.

The room was nice, he saw all the nicest rooms…and all the ones from the other end of the spectrum. Even the motel rooms with coin operated beds from the 60s - back when their parts were being made that is, now they clunked and rasped and moaned as Sai was pounded into the mattress.

He groaned when he saw the paddle on the bedside table.

"Why not Kiba!?" he groaned.

A whip crack and enthusiastic shriek of "YES!" rang out.

There was his answer. The guy who arrived was expecting Sai to beg for forgiveness for all his sins and do penance. The spanking was only the start…of course. As Sai blew the guy he felt more disgusted with himself than usual. He tried to drown out the sound of "Yes do penance for your sins" and "Suck it so you might find forgiveness" but failed miserably.

The guy dragged Sai's head off his member by the hair, Sai didn't show any pain but he felt it in his scalp. "Stand" the man ordered, lips trembling with lust as he pulled open his black shirt, a cross bounced between his nipples as he peeled the Speedos off the young man.

Sai was thrown down across the bed and turned onto his back. He felt sweaty flesh behind his knees, he closed his eyes to imitate a passioned expression.

Sometimes he thought people applied glamour to this lifestyle.

Well there was none.

This was surviving, isolating everything that told you what this really was, and just surviving for whatever money you get out of it. This guy was an actual priest, a real live, bible quoting priest…Sai wanted to laugh as much as he wanted to throw up. He drowned out the quotes of the bible passages and tried to think of something better. The beach, golden sand, the sea lapping at his toes.

The sun overhead.

Funny. It looked like a tattoo around a bellybutton…

* * *

Funny that's shorter than I intended...um...so what did you think? Reviews appreciated as are thoughts and favorite moments

**Next Chapter: **Moments, Naruto runs into a Lush and gets convinced to make a birthday cake for a Mafia Princess' 21st birthday..."It had better blow the guests away...or we'll blow you away - capeesh punk!?" Also Lee continues to pursue Sakura and Haku performs

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**The Cheesecake Rebellion**

**Summary: **People make Naruto and offer he can't refuse - - - well not if he wants to keep his kneecaps.

**Thanks: This wouldn't be possible without all those kind enough to spare some time and review me!**

Billie the fourth sage

liby318

sonotgoingthere

Bubble Master Califa

animecorps

shizniz00

Legendary Muse

sparkygo123

ChocoholicsAnonymous

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Naruto was pacing - he'd started at 7am and it had continued until the point that Sakura had threatened him with a cleaning product enema. She'd explained the process at 11am and Naruto had gone pacing elsewhere. He'd seen Lee run past in his green leotard with matching runners. He actually had a nice body…that paused Naruto's pacing for a few seconds…

"Hey Naruto" Ino from the florist's waved.

"Hi" he said as he sat on the steps up to their floor. "Sakura's inside"

"Great - I want her to dish on that cute boy I saw leaving your apartment the other mornings"

"Not hers" Naruto mumbled - Ino heard him of course, she had ears like a bat.

"Ohhhhh Naruto Uzumaki you slut" giggled Ino. "What was his name?"

"It's not important"

"Double slut" Ino laughed. She tossed her hair and started tying it into a ponytail as she mused in her own thoughts. "Still, he looked pretty damn hot…pity he's a big cock slurping ho bag" she winked playfully and passed Naruto. "You know, it's only when you actually sleep with men that we know you're gay Naruto"

Naruto flushed bright red.

"You need a guy, seriously" Ino said as she pushed the door to their apartment and went in to see Sakura. Ino and Sakura had been frienemies (friend-enemies) all through school. Now they had pretty much left it as friends - they could still be competitive but most of the time they watched TV together, compared themselves to the Sex and the City Girls, swooned and sobbed for Grey's Anatomy and jeered at LOST.

Naruto found those shows so irritating that he'd crank up his music and ignore the neighbors just to drown out the cries of "McDreamy I want you between my legs" and "McSteamy heal me with you magic penis"

Okay so they hadn't **actually** shouted those things - well maybe once but he'd been half-asleep.

Naruto pushed that out of his mind and went back to panicking. He'd cooked his way through most of their supplies last night, the freezer was packed to capacity and the fridge was 8/9ths of the way there.

He needed this job, a real restaurant, he'd always wanted a job in a real restaurant…yeah…yeah he could do this! His phone beeped and began to play "Low" it reached "boots with da furrrrr" when Naruto opened it out and answered. "Hello?"

"Are you ready for your interview? I know I am"

"I am - I guess - I prepped to cook stuff just in case he asked…and I'm bringing stuff in my backpack too…do you think I'll have to make something?"

"Probably, he was pretty damn vague" Temari said. "I called the number on the card and god some dude named Bettina - yeah - a dude - anyway apparently "K-man" is not available at the moment, I swear if I have to beat on someone I will, this had better not be a set up."

Naruto's heart was pumping madly. "Uh…"

"It probably isn't!" Temari exclaimed, aware of how easily Naruto could overreact. "Stay calm!"

* * *

Sai lay in bed until noon, then he slid out. He'd been requested for sex three times, his body ached all over and he reminded himself to pick up more condoms for his pack. Kiba was lounging on the sofa, watching their illegal cable and jerking off.

Sai was unfazed as usual. Kiba had a remarkable libido, he could literally go all night. Sometimes he had to fake being tired to get away from the patrons - or so he claimed. Sai doubted he would. Kiba was one of the webcam boy favourites just like Sai. They were always trapped in Danzou's world of porn.

Sorry, adult entertainment.

"What's up with you?" Kiba called as Sai started to make coffee. "And make mine Irish"

"What do you mean? And where's the Irish for your coffee?"

"Last night you were spaced more than usual. And its in the breadbin"

Sai lifted the lid and removed on of Kiba's bottles - he kept changing where he left them and keeping track had never been Sai's interest.

"I was smiling" Sai said simply.

"Yeah, your usual fake smile only different" Kiba snorted. "Like you were miles away and fake smiling instead of fake smiling for the johns". Ah yes put a high class name on any business you like but when you still use the terminology of a low class one who are you fooling?

"I don't know - I didn't realize I did anything like that" Sai said as he beat the percolator with a copy of "EuroTwinkieMan". "Did Danzou call?"

"Nope" Kiba sighed as he flicked over to a porno and continued to beat off. "Not yet"

Sai poured out the coffee, gave Kiba's a splash of booze and walked towards him. "Well maybe we'll get a day off, I'd like to go out for the day, maybe see what's happening in town" he mused as he ducked the first spurt of jizz to come shooting from the sofa.

"Sounds…good…" Kiba panted as he pulled his tracksuit pants back up and changed the station to Beverly Hills 90210. He accepted his coffee and drank a gulp. "This tastes funny"

"Yes, it's what happens when you fire wildly" Sai replied flatly glancing at the splodge that had hit him on the shoulder. Kiba looked at Sai, then at his mug, then at Sai, then at the mug and then at Sai one more time before shrugging and knocking it back.

(AN: I know that was gross for some but I was challenged to do it )

* * *

Naruto was in a kitchen, in front of a pan and very dazed. Kakashi the manager had greeted him and in 20 seconds he'd had Naruto standing at the kitchen station sautéing onions and peppers to finish the Potato cakes he'd made.

Kakashi was standing with two others, one was a large breasted blonde woman whose assistant (pretty, short brown hair, weary expression) stood a few steps back with the aide accompanying the hard faced man with pale eyes. That guy and the guy who had to be his son or something were watching him with freaky eyes.

He was soooooo nervous.

"It's good" the blonde woman said, her considerable chest jiggling as she mulled over her forkful and turned to Kakashi. "I say go with it" she nodded. "The pressure didn't get to him like the other 12 - and this beats the pants off that salad that last candidate made…someone should have told him the oven wasn't where it went" she sighed and raised an eyebrow at the memory before taking another forkful of the potato cakes. "This really is divine…it's like my tongue won big at the taste roulette table"

"Makes your tongue the only part of you that wins at anything" mumbled her assistant in the doorway. The woman, Tsunade, showed no signs of hearing but Naruto was sure she did.

"What do you think, Mr Hyuuga?" Kakashi asked.

The man jabbed his fork into the potato cake and spiced garnish on top. He took one contemplative bite and chewed slowly. "…adequate"

Naruto felt himself explode with rage but bit his lips to hold it in as he twitched, bright red in the corner of the kitchen, glowering at the tiles as if he intended to melt them by thought alone. "Excellent!" Kakashi beamed as he tucked the book (it showed a pretty risqué scene on the well read cover). "Now he can make a desert"

"Uh - I - um -" Naruto murmured.

"Yes. A desert" Hyuuga nodded.

"Something with chocolate!" Tsunade exclaimed as she clapped her hands and bounced a little, her chest bobbed as if nodding in agreement…nodding in agreement vehemently.

"Can I take a few moments?"

"Yes" Tsunade nodded. "Take more than a few, take a whole bunch, we're going to get champagne!"

"No you're going to get champagne, we're going to say sober a little longer" Kakashi muttered.

Naruto excused himself and stepped out into the back lot. He wanted to run so badly - oh so very badly… but that wasn't about to happen. He could get his dream job…only he hadn't brought any desert recipes with him! His mind was going blank and he fumbled to pull the cards out of his pocket. A gust of strong wind caught them and several fluttered over the wall of the lot.

He scampered across the cobbles at the back of the restaurant and pulled open the gate to pursue the cards. He paused as he saw someone else grasp them. Sai was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, sure they were tight and showed a fair bit of midriff but - - - they seemed out of place in comparison to the leather pants and tight shirt…

Not in a bad way

In a nice way.

"H-hey" Naruto stammered already feeling the burn of a blush on his face. "Sai"

Sai's fingers tightened on the recipe cards, this surprised him, suddenly he felt very tense indeed. Naruto wasn't going to do him any harm…so why did he feel so…on edge

"Naruto" he smiled slowly and offered the cards he'd caught. "These are yours?"

Naruto nodded and accepted them. "So…how are you?" he stammered.

"I'm fine…you do not need to try and force conversation with me, I understand" Sai said softly. Naruto blinked and gulped. Now he felt like a jerk, but he wasn't interested in a relationship and - and - and Sai's hands were on his face. The fingertips stroked the faded scars on the sides of his face and on his cheeks.

"What happened?" Sai murmured.

"I - uh - it - when - my - you - are - aaaaah" It felt so good…Naruto wrapped an arm around Sai's waist and pulled him in. He kissed the soft lips and felt Sai get hard against his own desire. The blood rush downwards had been so quick he was dizzy now.

"What was that for?" Sai whispered against Naruto's lips.

"…I- sorry -I didn't"

"Don't be sorry" Sai murmured.

"Mr Uzumaki!" Naruto froze as Mr. Hyuuga's gravelly voice rang out from over the wall. "We do not have all day! Get in here now!"

Sai winced and pulled away from Naruto. "I'd better go…I have to get home"

Naruto nodded dumbly but found words when Sai was near the mouth of the alley. "What were you doing back here anyway?"

Sai glanced back at an alcove in the alley wall. "Working" he said softly and was gone.

* * *

"You know who used to date Lee?" Ino said as she and Sakura cruised through the rails of clothing, occasionally examining a dress or sweater as they moved. "Tenten"

"No surprise there" sighed Sakura. "That girl gets around like chickenpox in a playschool"

"That's cruel"

"Ugh. You know its true" Sakura muttered. "Still I have nothing against her"

"Yeah I know, she's the whore of the old Sex and the City gang…" sighed Ino wistfully remembering four girls having lunch in their private school uniforms and shopping all weekend. "We should totally reunite…"

"No" Sakura grumbled.

"Oh come on! We can have a cocktail night - throw one of our parties and grab the girls back in! You have to miss them - - - even just a little?" Sakura's lip curled at the side and her pout faded away.

"Okay let's throw a party" she sighed.

"I know the perfect venue!" Ino squealed. "Club 96!"

* * *

Naruto slipped in the kitchen door sheepishly. He was shuffling his cards. "S-S-Sorry" he was freaked out by the people in this room, especially the ones with the freaky eyes. "I- uh - I lost my cards" he indicated the items in question…and Tsunade snatched them.

"What have we here?" she mused. "Oh! I like this recipe! Make this one!" She showed the card to Hyuuga and Kakashi. Her assistant and Hyuuga's aide peered at the card as well over the shoulders of the employers. "This will do nicely!"

"W- uh - I - Bu-"

"Belgian Chocolate Cheesecake? Sounds nice" Kakashi mused as he put his book down, a clear sign he was interested in the recipe. "Yes this will do indeed"

"B-But"

Then Hyuuga said: "This" and Naruto's inner self threw himself off a cliff, screaming…and found calmness in the tingle on his lips. He smiled slowly and then nodded. "No problemo!" he exclaimed as he shoved up his sleeves and threw open the fridge. "Stand back!"

* * *

Sai felt sick. He'd given a guy a Five Dollar hand job for taxi fare…then he'd kissed Naruto and for once he felt disgusted with himself. He kept telling himself that this was just his way of surviving, that this was what he had to do and how it had been and would always be until he died around age 27 when some scumbag John knifed him and left him to die.

His walls were coming down now, suddenly, frighteningly.

He had to bring his dry cleaning home, he focused on that as he left the laundrette and haled a cab in the rain. He was meant to be a naughty school boy at 8pm tonight in a hotel room for a man who was probably married with three kids.

He touched his lips…

* * *

Naruto was frozen in fear. Tsunade raised the fork with the cake on it to her lips and bit it. For a moment time stood still as all eyes were on her… "Deliscious!" she exclaimed.

"…C-c-Come again…" mumbled a stunned Naruto.

"Hire him on the spot!" Tsunade exclaimed as Hyuuga tasted the cake. He nodded and then Kakashi shoved the rest of the slice into his mouth. Naruto stared at him for a moment - they had to be kidding…people had offered to eat paint and broken bottles rather than his Chocolate Cheesecake…

"You're hired, come in on Monday and I'll tell you everything" Kakashi retrieved his book and left a stunned Naruto behind him. Naruto pinched himself to check he was still conscious and not hallucinating.

"Mmmmm Delicious" Tsunade was saying. "Shizune cut yourself a slice its divine" she was already helping herself to another slice. "This is well worth working off in Taibogilatecise Class tomorrow". The assistant's face lit up as she took a first bite of the chocolate cheesecake.

Naruto blinked in surprise and moved a fork in closer to the cake, taking a sample for himself and placing it carefully in his mouth. His eyes rolled back in his head for a moment…it was…definitely improved, delicious…

What the hell!?

A large hand clapped him on the shoulder. "Walk with us" Mr. Hyuuga said. "We'll give you a lift home" His fingers tightened and Naruto found himself nodding feebly.

The limo had darkened windows and a soft leather interior. "Neji, my nephew, wants me to make sure my daughter's 21st birthday is a success for her sake, you see, she's always been a dainty thing and he think it would help her find some confidence - since she's in line to inherit my businesses… I want her to buck up a little. So a party is in order for her coming of age"

Naruto was being stared at by two sets of pale eyes. "Y-Yes?"

"You're going to make her cake" Neji said, his voice was cold and collected. "You're going to make her the best cake…because if she isn't happy - " he cracked his knuckles.

"The only icing will be the kind we do to you" growled Hyuuga Senior. "We'll contact you soon about the party."

All of a sudden Naruto was lying sprawled on the grassy slope of the park in the rain.

That had been brief…and more to the point he was nowhere near his home!

Damn it!

* * *

"So just a very brief threat and then they tossed you out of the car?" Sakura was incredulous as they shoved through the crowds towards the stage. "Jerk-a-rific - - - since when do we have the Sopranos in your workplace?"

"I don't know, I don't even know how he was involved with the restaurant but at least I got the job…" he smiled happily. "And I seem to have mastered my Aunt's recipe" he added.

"Something I can't fully believe, but congratulations" Sakura gave him a quick hug and then a hush fell as the lights came on stage. "Haku's up" she whispered. "I hope he's not nervous with his double Britney Set! I mean "Ooops you did me again" and "Do me Baby one more time" were troubling him"

"What for? Intellectual subterfuge?" Naruto muttered

Haku straddled a chair giving everyone a good look at his lace panties.

"Nope - not nervous" Sakura and Naruto sighed in unison.

"Oh baby baby, oh baby baby

Oh baby baby, you sure knew how to blow

When you sucked me off last ni-ight

Oh baby baby, I came loud eight times

And now its number nine, yeah

Do me not too fast or slowly

Do me baby cuz I want to cum again now, oh because

These handcuffs are chafing me (and I)

I must confess I want it missionary (missionary)

When you thrust, I scream aloud

Take off the gag and thrust again, Screw me baby one more time!"

Naruto just covered his face with his hands and sighed. Talk about icing on the cake...

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**

_In the next chapter: Naruto meets a key person in his life, Sai gets a job, it's Shikamaru time and Kakashi has a birthday courtesy of Tsunade so you can expect booze, debauchery and men with loose speedos and looser morals. Plus we meet Hinata and Ino and Sakura's crew while Lee tries to get a word in with Sakura. Poor guy he just can't win!_


	5. Chapter 5

**The Cheesecake Rebellion**

* * *

Sorry for the delay, life has been hectic but I have had so many great reviews and so much positive feedback I'm really glad to say I can get back on track. My laptop didn't save this twice and crashed and lost it another time so it took much longer after my muse began to die a death. But I happily host it for you now, ask your forgiveness and thank everyone who reviewed, faved and put me on alert.

If you love me reviews and fan art are always appreciated :D

**Miss Ri:** Your faith was well placed, just don't take it as a sign to start professional gambling

**Billie the fourth sage:** Less Shikamaru than intended but he'll be appearing with Sai a bit more from now on. As for the coffee, don't ask me where it came from, but I was challanged to fit it into the story - and I didn't want to have the character's stop off at McDonalds (_Hiiiiyyyyooooooo I went there - - sorry_)

**Kabuto-pants:** I hope your sister's of a suitable age to be reading them!! O.O! Haku will be singing a bit more and I'll be looking at a variety of songs to rewrite. "Gimme a Whore" by Britney and "Do Me" by Kaiser Chiefs are running through my mind...but others may arrive too. Haku will be appearing over and over since he stuck with me during the Land of The Wave arc. I liked him and Zabusa.

**Darkyuy:** We shall see shan't we? Stay tuned for more of the characters we all know and love

**AyamiYeli:** Poor Lee in deed - but things might look up for him again very soon :D don't get sad - think positive!

**Unnur:** High praise. I am utterly jaded with Sasuke myself he and the Uchiha clan need to get tossed on a backburner. They may appear or get mentioned, they may not, they're not the core of the story by any means.

**IceDragon3:** Yeah my punctuation can be a little off, or very, I can get caught up in the story that it goes right out the window and then my Spellchecker can miss it entirely...sigh

**mad hatter 1712:** I am very glad you enjoyed it and hope you continue - so read on and see what happens next.

**lilmonkeychan:** Twisted sense of humour!? TWISTED!? HOW DARE YOU SIR/MADAM/VARIATIONSTHEREOF! How dare you call me twisted and to call my sense of humour twist...wait no you've got me there. It is... :D I intend to continue, while I have other projects and other work to keep me occupied I wll keep going. If the fans stick with it and review I'll stick with it and write.

Thanks to everyone as well, too many to name which is flattering but reviews and favs and alerts are all really good for my morale.

Stay frosty

* * *

**Summary:** It's been a topsy-turvy day for Naruto…and Tsunade's party is a mixed reception. Note: Sakura's crew and Hinata's gang don't appear as promised - but next time, I swear!!

**Chapter Rating:** M-ish

* * *

Naruto frowned and shoved the weights back up into the air before Sakura helped him to put them back in their resting place. He was pretty pissed off since while she'd been spotting him she'd been gossiping with Haku.

About him!

"You know you'd like some of the boys from the club" Haku said to Naruto as he towelled himself off. The sweat was suddenly becoming very interesting – because what Haku was talking about wasn't in the slightest bit interesting.

Not at all…wait…who is flexible enough to do what!?

Sakura sighed. "Look, you were talking about that Sai guy but you haven't actually done anything about it"

Naruto huffed. She had a point…and he'd probably never see Sai again…and that flexible guy

Suddenly Sakura was flat out on the floor beside him. "Just tying my shoe laces" she said, muffled by the carpet under her face. Naruto looked around…Lee of course. Poor guy was always trying to get some alone time with Sakura and she just didn't want to have to break his sweet (albeit weird) heart.

"Sakura!" the way he said her voice was always loud and matter of fact and loud and a bit nervous…oh…and loud.

"Hello Lee" she said into the carpet

"What are you doing down there?"

"Uhhhhh – Push ups!" she exclaimed, pouncing to her feet. "Well wow I'm sweaty from that work out-"

"I wanted to ask-"

"Just did an hour on the punch bags!" Sakura continued, voice getting louder.

"Well would you -"

"GOTTA GO SHOWER" Sakura bellowed…and sprinted into the women's shower block at full tilt.

Lee looked at Haku and Naruto.

"Women" he sighed

Haku and Naruto looked at one another and then at Lee.

* * *

Sai was on a bed, propped up by one hand while the other jerked himself off; his feet braced him on the bed as he put on the show for "Mister J". He felt like _Harley Quinn_ – and it was ridiculous referring to a famous person like that.

The man sat nearby smoking, watching as Sai degenerated into a (slightly exaggerated) mound of moans, whimpers and gasps. This guy wanted to make him a muse for his next novel – the guy wrote erotica and scripts for porn movies.

Well they would be scripts if there was a plot, beginning, middle and end or even the smallest modicum of depth beyond "yeah baby" to them.

"Thanks for the help" the guy said, indicating the money on the bedside table. "See you again soon, Sai"

"Yeah" he nodded as he went to get his clothes.

The guy only watched – it was better than some stuff he had to do – but really live shows were the same thing as the online ones…only better paid.

He pulled on his red Reeboks – a bit tatty but they were his lucky shoes. As in he didn't get the serious perverts when wearing them.

And he'd been wearing them when he last saw Naruto…huh…

He kept thinking about Naruto Uzumaki…why? He was just a guy he slept with and then bumped into again. It was just a coincidence…but…maybe…what happened…

Shaking his head Sai slipped out of the hotel room, nodded to Jack the doorman on his way out and slunk into the noon light. He put on his sunglasses against the daylight and moved towards the next appointment.

The _Root of Eden_ was a club as well as a company. Their website had webcam feeds for "real time hot action" and the boys had to stick to a kind of schedule and rota for it. Then came the private appointments – You paid **75** up front and the other **25** went to the boy himself after the deed. Apparently the lions share was put aside for the boys but Sai laughed that off.

Kiba was much the same but so long as he got a spanking he didn't really care.

But this was all Sai could do. He read and read but he had no diploma or qualifications beyond giving head to teachers to get off detention when he was younger.

Sai was 20.

* * *

Naruto froze – Tsunade was standing at the door to his apartment, knocking. He quickly turned to them. "One of the judges from the restaurant is here!" he hissed to Haku and Sakura. "Don't freak her out!"

"Naruto!" the woman called cheerfully. Naruto approached trying to be calm and composed…when Haku exclaimed "Good God! Look at **THE SIZE** of those Bazongas"

The silence in the hall was broken only by the sound of the boiler slurring its usual rhythm for exactly 3.5 minutes every 2.4 hours.

* * *

"Private party tonight" Kiba said as Sai entered the room. Shikamaru was there, Kiba, Gaara, Kotetsu, Yamato and a few of the other boys, Guillermo, Harris, Aaron, Ioan, etc, etc.

Shikamaru let out a long sigh. "It's not exactly irregular to have to work a private party Kiba - you just hope someone gives you a bit of punishment and its all good for you" he shut his Sudoku book and frowned at the world. He then looked at Sai and something flickered.

To save himself the time, Sai sat down beside Shikamaru in the lounge of the Root Club. "What?"

"Just wondering something - about that guy at the club"

Shikamaru was living off his body but his mind was sharp as a dagger. He had an insanely high IQ...but unfortunately rarely seemed to bother using it to try and leave The Root of Eden. It infuriated Sai as he thought of his own childhood...school and home...scenes from some lurid movie...but Shikamaru must have had his reasons.

"There's nothing to say, we're aloud give freebies"

"Yeah - but mostly we don't" Shikamaru said simply. "You went home with him Sai - think about it - he could have been a psycho pervert" he was level and controlled and that annoyed Sai.

"And what? The rest of our clients aren't?" Sai said with a smile that was so fake it made Goldie Hawns lips look natural.

Shikamaru frowned but reached into his bag and handed a book to Sai. "Found this for you - you wanted to read up on Picasso's blue period...right?" Sai nodded dumbly and took the book. He wanted to say more but the door opened and admitted a poison.

Danzou entered the room. The old pervert was collected as ever with his ho of an assistant Fuka a step behind him. "Tonight there is a party – you will provide aesthetic entertainment – anything further will have to be organized privately with Fuka who will be present".

The woman gave a smouldering smirk – one Sai was sure she practiced. He hated her guts…she was as bad as the choreographer, Fuen, that borderline drag queen was nasty…always putting hands in unnecessary places.

"The party will also require a cake boy…" Danzou pointed at Sai. "That will be you Sai; Fuen will get you ready this evening."

Sai looked down at his runners and glared at them – they had a screwed up way of helping…this mean a bonus…but since he only ever saw a bit of it at a time it wasn't really anything of note. He glanced over at Kiba who winked.

Bastard.

* * *

"A party?" Naruto enquired.

"Kakashi's birthday" nodded Tsunade. "Shizune and I have organized it for the lazy sod, and we just thought to invite you. Since we were in the neighbourhood we thought we'd drop by and suggest it."

Shizune coughed gently. "You had me up all night tracking him down because Kakashi didn't give you any details on Naruto's address" she said quietly.

"Not important" Tsunade dismissed. She held out the small envelope. "It's being held in the XXY Club, you and your two friends are more than welcome. I'm inviting a few others, Kakashi has been away in Belgium for the past 10 years, and really it's about time he made some new friends in the city"

Sakura grinned. "That's such a cool idea!"

"Wait until you see the friends she has in mind" Shizune sighed to herself.

"What was that Shizune?" enquired Tsunade in a voice of some coolness.

"Nothing, Miss!" Shizune practically broke her jaw with the force she painted on a convincing smile. "I'll make sure their names are on the guest list" she said quickly and moved to another corner.

"Temari will be there as well" Tsunade grinned happily, touching her cheek thoughtfully. "Such a nice girl" she added. "Apparently a mugger tried to charge her with aggravated assault when she beat him around the head with a pair of wedge sandals. That's the kind of girl I can like."

Naruto backed off a bit. This woman intimidated the hell out of him, he could see strength in her bare arms, scary amounts of strength, and then there was the way she seemed to see right through you. "Be there or be square" she patted Naruto on the cheek. "See you all later"

Shizune gave a small wave and followed her boss out. Ino stood into the doorway once they had passed. "Oh My God"

Haku nodded. "Massive aren't they?"

Once the topic of Tsunade's bust was passed over with sufficient discussion they settled down to eat biscuits and drink coffee (Camomile Tea for Sakura). Ino was toying with her long blonde hair. "So there's a party?"

"Yup" Haku nodded. "That Lady, Tsunade, she's hosting it in the XXY Club for Naruto's boss, it's his birthday. I'm hoping he's gay and ordered strippers" he added with a light giggle, his brain already running through scenarios.

"What about Zabuza?" Sakura enquired.

"Oh he can come too, be my plus one" chuckled Haku before becoming dreamy and distant. "We can pick up two or three guys to take back to his place and -"

"Agh!" Naruto shot to his feet, sending his chair crashing away – he needed to be anywhere else but here. "I need to go and get stuff for test recipes!" he exclaimed in the 2.5 seconds it took him to cross the room, get his coat and wallet, open the door , get into the hall and pull the door behind him.

Ino blinked for a moment. "I can't believe you and he are childhood friends" she said to Sakura. "Has he always been like this?"

Sakura sighed softly and shrugged.

"Are you old friends? I knew you went to the same college" Haku said quietly, sensing a tension in the air around Sakura. This topic had grasped his curiosity however.

"Yes, my parents had a summer house in Little Leaf" Sakura explained. "That's where I first met Naruto, making big gestures, and childish passes at me, they never really changed over the years…but he wasn't in a good place in the village – too much pressure…" Sakura's face became a mix of rage and sorrow as memories stirred within her mind. "They were like weeds the people in that village, strangling him, his parents had their image and he had to conform to it… and college saved him, the scholarship saved him…" she sighed and leaned back in the chair. "But not completely…it's like the village still haunts him…has he always been this way? No…the real Naruto is locked up inside"

She shook her head and gave a laugh to break the silence of the other two. "Listen to me, I sound like the monologue on Greys Anatomy" her eyes lit up. "Oh, did you guys see how she and McDreamy had sex on the surgical table during that triple bypass?"

"Oh and wasn't it so sad when George and Izzy had that heart to heart while that guy lay bleeding to death in the middle of the floor!?" Ino added.

They laughed and chuckled and Haku added in a few thoughts on who he'd like to get and what he'd like to do to them…but then there was what she'd said before…about Naruto.

* * *

Naruto looked at the chilli oil in the oddly shaped glass bottle. The Curry of Life Gourmet Shoppe had always been a refuge for him. It was like being in the kitchen without being in the kitchen. Less pressure but all the things he loved.

The sights and smells and tastes in the air.

He'd been overweight as a child, the outcome of parents spoiling their child while not thinking about his welfare, it wasn't their fault, he was their only child and they had been too busy to read the parenting books. But when people started calling him fat…he wasn't like Chouji, or he hadn't been. Chouji was big boned and strong as an ox, full of energy, but Naruto hadn't been that.

Rather he'd been bullied and the one person he had wanted to like him had ignored him. So he began to eat healthy and exercise every day, determination and anger had pulled him through…and he still exercised every day…he had felt so much stronger, better…

But still…people resented him for something…

"Naruto?"

The voice was soft and gentle but very strong. Naruto turned around slowly and felt the smile happen all by itself. "Instru-"

"Naruto!" Iruka smiled. "You don't have to call me sir, instructor or teacher anymore. I'm glad to see you… how have you been?"

Iruka was a hero to Naruto. Another gay man. Another man with a passion for cooking. Another person who wanted to be free. To soar into the blue, blue sky… when Naruto had been in his worst place it was neither his father nor mother he turned to, but this man, his teacher, the person who had helped him get his scholarship.

"I'm…good…" Naruto was so surprised and delighted his throat was closing up a little, emotion welling within his body. So he hugged the man, Iruka chuckled and hugged him back.

The small coffee shop on the corner was their next port of call…a small side garden with pretty green tables and chairs…tea and biscuits…everything was calm and Naruto felt a weight lifted off his shoulders.

"So you met someone?" Iruka enquired at last after Naruto had done his best to explain the phenomena of Sai.

"No not really, I mean it's out of character for me to have a one night stand…but he was different" Naruto sighed and his brow furrowed as he concentrated on the tea in his cup. "Then I bump into him again…uh…and that's pretty hard to do in this city"

Iruka tilted his head, the shadows of leaves overhead playing on his face. He adjusted his sunglasses. "You're right it's just a coincidence" he said and watched a slight fall in Naruto's face, something the boy probably didn't even know he was experiencing. "But it won't be next time you see him – then its destiny".

Naruto shifted uneasily, feeling something between his skin and his clothes, a sort of hot, tingling pressure. "Are you still in Little Leaf?"

Iruka looked at Naruto slowly, reading the boy's face. He wanted to ask about his parents and everyone else…but it was hard because he hated them all so much – yet loved his parents. Paradoxical? Yes. Impossible? No.

"Sometimes, they fired me from the school the year after you left for college" he heard the cup shaking in shock as Naruto was startled in the process of putting it down. The dark contents sloshed over the side. "I intend to move to the city – which is why I am here right now – just as soon as I can somewhere to live."

Naruto opened his mouth but Iruka spoke first. "You don't have the room so don't offer, Naruto" he smiled softly at his blushing student. "Always acting first and thinking much later? Your heart is in the right place, no matter what anyone would say…"

Naruto nodded slowly, not speaking for a time. "So…what news is there in Little Leaf?"

Iruka shrugged. "Nothing much" he admitted. "Oh…yes there is…I wasn't sure if you had heard, Gekko finally passed away, the cancer won". He saw the boy's face fall.

"He was a nice guy" Naruto said. "Showed me around on my first day in the Upper School, watched out for me…what about his girlfriend?"

"Wife" corrected Iruka; he saw the flinch in Naruto's eyes. "He gave the invite to your parents to invite you – I doubt they ever sent it, the wedding was in the village after all…" he trailed off trying to locate a new point of attack.

"So he married Uzuki?"

"Yes, she didn't want to put the extra strain of the wedding on him but he insisted and threatened to come off his medication if she didn't do it – so they were married in the town hall – because Father Willing was…well…unwilling" Iruka sipped his tea thoughtfully. "He died two months ago – I had hoped your parents would inform you."

Naruto sniffed and shrugged, trying to act as if it didn't hurt. "Doesn't matter, I know now" he shrugged. "I hope he didn't suffer?"

Iruka looked at his student, so grown up but still the boy…with those scars from that horrible night. "No, he didn't suffer, slipped away in his sleep at the hospital, Uzuki was with him…it was very romantic…" he trailed off himself this time, and for a little while they just sat in silence. "Are you a chef?"

"I did the training and the course" Naruto said. "And I've been hired by this guy for a new restaurant…" he snapped his fingers and rooted through his wallet finally producing a slightly sticky and crumpled business card. "Here, this is it, the boss, Mister Kakashi is having a birthday – maybe you can come?"

Iruka delicately accepted the card and put it in his own wallet. "When is it?"

Naruto shrugged and took the invite envelope out of his coat pocket, he'd had it in hand when he had run out, it was a little bent but not by much. The invite was fine he skimmed over it…and felt his jaw hit the floor and chip the pavement.

"It's in five hours!" he shrieked. "Doors at 8pm! ACK!"

Iruka covered his mouth and chuckled. "I – err – I don't think I can make it since my train back to Little Leaf leaves in 2 hours"

"No of course not" Naruto said, his face twitching as he stared at the invite in his hand. "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

He was frantic now. "I have to be at this, I need to impress my new boss…I need Sakura she'll know what to do! Yes she'll help! Her and Haku!"

* * *

Sai buckled the tight black belt on the hot pants, the tiny black policeman's outfit came complete with shoulder markings, a badge and hat and gloves. He took the truncheon Fuen handed him and climbed into the cake. "Remember, cute boy, wait for our signal" Fuen cooed down at him through heavily made-up lips.

"I know my job Fuen" he said, that new type of emptiness was filling him up, he'd only really started to notice it, a new kind of absence in his body, a new kind of void and it was making itself felt. But he'd prance around, shake his ass, lap dance this guy (who looked quite attractive in the pictures but then again pictures lied…)

He sucked in a breath and pulled the gigantic pink and white cardboard cake closed around him.

* * *

Naruto couldn't look any of the guys in the eye. Least of all the one with the bored expression from the other night who was dressed like a Fireman – well in theory – the big jacket was right, but luminous yellow hot pants?

Haku and "Z" were already enjoying themselves. At least 50 dollars in single bills had been dispersed by Haku already into the crotches of the boys dancing.

"Tsunade's kind of party" Naruto jumped as Kakashi appeared out of nowhere. "Not that I don't enjoy the concept of men dancing in next to nothing…I'd rather someone closer to my own age…and quieter…deeper"

A boy with heavy eyeliner and short crimson hair (dressed in red hot pants and a short white shirt – oh it was meant to be a schoolboy outfit – the tie and blazer of course…) stopped before Naruto and Kakashi. He looked at Kakashi and turned away.

"Wait" Kakashi said. "Here's a fifty, tell her in ten minutes"

The boy pushed his hips forwards and Kakashi sighed, relenting to tuck the note into the boys crotch. The cold eyed boy nodded and left. "I'm nervous as to what else she has planned. This is the Root of Eden after all"

"Root of Eden?" Naruto enquired slowly. He got a look from Kakashi.

"I would have thought you were gay – I made a presumption – I apologize"

"What? Well – yes I am – but – what? I – what?"

"Oh" Kakashi seemed distant; he tucked the book he'd been holding into his pocket. "The Root of Eden is a nightclub, a business, a website and some might say a way of life. It's a decadent form of exploitation – young men under the thumb of a glorified pimp named Danzou. They promise every fantasy, most taking several clients a night…basically it's a brothel – right down to the webcams and online feeds from their homes."

Naruto's eyes slid to their corners to glance at Kakashi. "You're an expert on this?"

Kakashi flushed and adjusted his scarf and coat – he'd apparently just arrived and Naruto suspected he'd sneaked in to avoid Tsunade. "No! I just heard of it – most gay men have!"

"So you're gay?"

Kakashi gestured. "This wasn't a clue?"

Suddenly he was hauled backwards. Tsunade had grabbed the back of his collar and pulled with incredible strength, dragging him towards the stage. "Come on birthday boy – there was enough of a delay already"

Realizing something was amiss; Tsunade looked at the coat in her hand and found Kakashi running for the exit. "Oh - no - you - don't!" she bellowed, speeding across the floor after him.

Temari appeared beside Sakura and Naruto as they leaned on a metal railing near the bar to watch Tsunade pursue the "star of the show" around the dance floor amidst the other guests.

"The new boss is spry" Temari noted.

"I think she's more so" Sakura said as Tsunade caught Kakashi's waist coat – he shrugged out of it and desperately sped up his run.

"He's losing layers pretty fast" Temari chuckled. "Soon these guys won't be the only strippers around…"

Temari gasped and when Sakura and Naruto looked toward her she was striding so briskly she was almost accompanied by an arctic wind. "What was that about?" Sakura asked quietly. Naruto was about to answer when there was the sound of Kakashi being winded.

Neji – Mr. Hyuuga's relative and grunt – had tackled him for Tsunade and Kakashi was now being dragged onto the stage by Tsunade and her scary upper body strength.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" Shizune said as she tested the mic on stage. Tsunade forced Kakashi into a seat and gave everyone a dazzling smile…all eyes acknowledged her youthful face…and then visibly dropped to her plunging neckline. But hey that's how the world spins. "Your hostess this evening, Tsunade -" there was a burst of static and Shizune handed the mic to her boss before fiddling with some knobs off stage a bit more.

"Thank you, Shizune…well as you all know you're gathered here to celebrate the birthday of a man whom you will all grow to know and – if not love – at least not despise with a passion" she giggled and everyone giggled…watching her chest bobble like contented jello moulds.

Very large contented jello moulds.

"Kakashi I want you to mingle tonight and meet these people" she explained. "Some you know from years ago…some you know from recently…and some I saw as interesting and handed an invite to. But we're all very glad to have you here and can't wait to sample the wonderful food and atmosphere of your restaurant: Moments" she gave a small clap and when she stopped so did everyone else.

As in exactly the same time.

"Now – Kakashi – why were you late?"

"…Well I met this little girl whom I rescued from a fire and she wanted me to knit her a scarf -"

"**THAT'S A LIE**!" Sakura and Naruto bellowed together.

"Okay…okay…sheesh" Kakashi muttered.

"He was reading a dirty book" Naruto shouted.

Tsunade eyed the coat on the floor and the book jutting out of it before not-so-discreetly kicking it under the chair she had pinned Kakashi to. "That matter aside… why not relax and enjoy a very special birthday cake?"

Naruto was pulled closer to the stage by Sakura as the tiered pink and white cake was carted out. "Could you make me one of those?" Sakura giggled.

"I'd never find a man to get into it for you"

Sakura bopped him on the top of the head and knocked him down. "Jerk" she growled.

Tsunade raised a small gold stick topped with a ball and Shizune presented a gong. "You're sure to enjoy the filling of this cake" she joked and hit the gong.

"Sex Bomb" by Tom Jones and Mousse-T began to play loudly over the speakers and the DJ was beaming like an idiot about it. The Root Boy burst out of the cake in a blast of confetti. Kakashi flushed brilliant red as the boy got very close and - - - made advances…he turned, lifting Kakashi's hands to his firm butt…and that's when he and Naruto saw each other.

"Sai?" gasped Naruto.

That's when everything got complicated.

* * *

_**In the next chapter:** Okay next chapter we meet Hinata she's one of my top 5 fav characters after all but it wasn't her time today and the rest of the crew – Lee finally corners Sakura – things get complicated there as well – oh and someone locks themselves in a bathroom and a door gets kicked in._

**Wes' Thought For The Day:** Anyone else noticed how often Sai's portrayed as a whore? It's totally the belly shirt and leather pants...and the obsession with penis' and the getting close to Naruto thing just fuels the gay chat ;) it's cannon really :D


	6. Chapter 6

**The Cheesecake Rebellion**

* * *

Hiya couldn't find a name - Precisely!

Billie the fourth sage - it's very hard to reread my own stuff so some spelling errors slip through the cracks and with my Spellchecker always fluctuating between two types of English, French and German...well I just miss some errors. Sorry! (is sheepish)

Miss Ri - Yes...he gay. And sorry for the delay. Another chapters on the way. And I just rhymed - yay

fanofninjawarrior - thanks I'm honoured! I may but Sasuke in at some stage but...I'm in no rush. Let me confirm something **_he is not in this chapter _**despite what one may theorize from certain evidence. I've grown exceptionally bored with Sasuke - I hope Sakura punches him in the face...sigh

Kabuto-pants - sisters can't live with em - can't kill em...anyway yeah I don't know why I felt like putting Sai in a cake but it happened. irony since Naruto is a chef

SakuraSaku - I will or I will try to - reviews help me keep it solid

gaara itachi 1 - oh I just wrote it on the spot. I liked Haku. I felt sorry for him...but he and Zabuza were so gay! He reappears next chapter

SaiNaru - there's lots of stuff I'll be converting for AU and I hope you stay hooked. Sorry for the delay

kit of betrayal - yeah pretty much, and Hinata is a Yakuza princess :D I always feel she's underestimated so she'll be appearing a fair bit over the coming chapters

Bubble Master Califa - indeed it did help and hey they have recordings of Sai and Kiba you know :P anyway Sai's lifestyle is far from over, Naruto doesn't quite grasp exactly what it is he does.

And to all those who read and favourite and alert me...my thanks, thisstory will not die because of you and hopefully another chapter will materialize before the New Year. Merry X-mas to all!

* * *

Sai was frozen in place, his heart pounding in his chest, a tremble running up and down his spine like a mouse in a nursery rhyme clock. The symptoms were the same as his first "performance" but he'd learned to get over them years ago. No he was shaking because Naruto was looking at him with wide eyes…

Naruto had seen him naked…they'd done stuff…and yet…why was this making Sai feel so scared?

Then someone started shouting. "Gaara! Open the door Gaara!" It was Temari and she was banging on the door to the men's bathroom which was apparently barricaded. "Gaara!" she shouted.

Sai took the opportunity to tear away from the binds of Naruto's shocked expression and jump off the stage to join Kiba and Shikamaru around the door. "He's locked himself in there! He might hurt himself!" Temari exclaimed.

"We need this door kicked in!" Tsunade called towards the bar.

"Allow me!" Sakura said. "CHAAAAAAAAAAA!" she bellowed and unleashed a ferocious kick at the door. It cracked and splintered around the lock, swinging in. Gaara slammed the door to the toilet shut and the lock clicked to Occupied. It was a separate room in itself and he was barricaded inside.

"Gaara!" Temari shouted, banging on the door. "Open the door! We need to talk!"

"…Go…away…" Gaara's voice was a low hiss more sorrow than rage.

"No! I won't! It's been almost five years since I last saw you, I'm not about to leave!"

Sakura nodded at the door but Temari shook her head. She slowly approached the cubicle door. "Gaara…"

"I'm not coming out" the low voice came slowly after a few seconds pause. "Leave me alone."

"Gaara…I know we failed you, I know it all went wrong and bad, we've been looking for you all this time" she said quietly, ignoring the crowd that had gathered.

In unison Sai and Naruto began to press their friends and strangers out of the room. Sakura nodded to Naruto and then glanced at Sai who refused to look in Narutos direction. She frowned but said nothing, stepping out into the hall to keep others away.

Sai and Naruto stood near Temari as she crouched near the door, having located where she guessed Gaara's ear level would be. "…I know we let you down. I can only say I am so sorry. When you ran away, we…Kankuro and I we…" she closed her eyes and Naruto felt himself winded by the sheer look of…grief. He'd never seen Temari like this. So emotional…

A tear slid down her cheek and her voice betrayed how close she was to crying her eyes out.

"We never stopped looking for you; we tried so hard…please Gaara"

The lock clicked and Temari hurriedly rose to her feet. Gaara appeared in his tiny costume, holding himself, trembling slightly. He'd dug his fingernails into his skin leaving little red crescents on his forearms. Temari moved her arms, ever so slightly…and Gaara dived into them, sobbing into her white blouse, his eyeliner running with his mascara.

Naruto and Sai turned away at the same time and stopped…eyes meeting…Naruto opened his mouth…Sai looked away and shoved past the crowd in his way to get out of the bathroom. Naruto was just frozen in place…

* * *

Sakura pulled her fleece lined black coat around herself, Naruto was talking to Kakashi and Tsunade in the doorway, his face was apparently numb as he lacked any. "Sakura!" Sakura jumped as Lee exclaimed her name loudly at a very close proximity.

"AH! I mean – Lee!"

"Sakura, I have something I must ask you!"

"We-"

But Lee ploughed on ahead. "I have been trying to ask you for over a month, it has taken a great deal of courage but I must ask this of you and it may be a shock but -"

"Lee -"

"WOULD YOU CONSIDER JOINING ME IN THE SARUTOBI FOUNDATIONS ANNUAL CHARITY KICK BOXING TOURNAMENT!?"

There was utter silence in the chilly evening and empty night-time street.

"Oh Thank Buddha" Sakura gasped. "Yes – yes of course, sorry, oh Lee"

"What is the matter?" he blinked slowly at Sakura who was laughing lightly.

"All this time, yes of course I'll join you at the tournament, sorry…" she laughed aloud a weight lifted off her shoulders. "I'm so sorry for all this time I've been dodging you Lee."

"…Dodging me?"

"Yes, you know, acting odd and running away and blowing you off. I'm really so sorry for all this time" she laughed and massaged her temples. "I'm really; really sorry I've been jumping about like that. All this time you wanted me to be your partner for a martial arts event!"

Lee was nodding slowly but his expression indicated he clearly didn't understand what was going on.

"I thought all this time you were trying to ask me out on a date!"

"…………...I was"

"Oh".

Suddenly the sound of the wind was very easy to hear in the branches of the trees lining the street.

* * *

Naruto had ended up at the Hyuuga household earlier than he'd expected – mainly because on his way to get milk he'd been pulled into a limo by Neji and some other strong arm in a suit. He was quite sure the bag over his head was unnecessary but evidently there was a code of conduct.

Hurrah for gangsters.

Mister Hyuuga sat in a large arm chair opposite the one Naruto had been tossed into. "You know you could have just called to reschedule" Naruto muttered.

"I prefer a hands-on approach" he replied, his cold hard eyes glaring Naruto down. "Your cooking skills are impressive and as I said I want the best party possible for my daughters upcoming 21st. It is always a large event". He rose and pointed out the window to where Neji was punching the crap out of a punch bag hanging from an archway. Nearby two girls sat on a stone bench under a tree, one was about 16 and had long brown hair, the other had shoulder length black hair.

She was dressed in a bulky coat despite the relatively warm day and was pretty much covered neck to ankle; she held a small book which she was reading from intently.

"My daughters Hanuba and Hinata. It will be Hinata's birthday and as usual I always hold a large celebration to mark 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays in my family. Neji, my nephew, celebrated his 21st with great success however Hinata's parties tend to be events that most find unimpressive. They are jinxed one might say" Mr. Hyuuga leaned forwards. "If I am disappointed things happen to the chefs and party planners".

Naruto gulped. "W-Well…"

"We are very glad you have agreed to do this" Mr Hyuuga said as he stood up. "There is a list of what Hinata will want" he gestured at an envelope on a side table near Naruto's left arm

Naruto frowned. "Shouldn't I talk to her first?"

Three minutes and forty seconds later he was dumped out of a car on the sidewalk. "How the FUCK did they manage that?!" he exclaimed.

* * *

Sai poked a chess piece across the board. He'd never actually one against Shikamaru so trying wasn't worth it really. But it was a good way to pass the time in the park since they had to get the place cleaned out once every two months by a group of cleaners.

"Usually you're trying to distract me" Shikamaru commented as he moved his piece into check and took a drag of his cigarette, a special variety of herbal one…it was a distinctive smell around Shikamaru, like normal smoker smoke but spicier somehow.

"Hnh?" Sai murmured, looking away from his pieces.

"That boy the other night…he fazed you…no one fazes you"

Sai shrugged.

"You of all people know what will happen if you fall for a guy, especially a trick"

"He wasn't a trick"

Shikamaru's cigarette teetered on shocked lips. He then frowned and took a deep drag exhaling the smoke up into the air over his head. Before sagely proclaiming: "Shit".

And Sai couldn't agree more.

What had happened to him?

* * *

Sakura had gone the entire day without seeing Lee. It had amazed her. Ino flagged her over to the fountain in the park. TenTen squealed and hugged Sakura in that rather over the top manner she did whenever she hadn't seen someone in more than a week.

TenTen did her reconnections big.

"Where's our forth member?" TenTen enquired as she perched on the fountain, applying her make up with casual ease.

"I'm here I'm here" a voice chuckled and grumbled at the same time (somehow).

"Anko!" the girls chorused.

Sakura indulged in a flashback, an all girl's Catholic school with horrible green uniforms, three juniors and a senior prefect making the best of it. Why she was so eager to reconnect was beyond her…perhaps because back then good things happened more.

"Oh my God Anko!" Tenten exclaimed. "Pregnant!? GAAAAAAHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Sakura flinched at the shriek of joy that erupted from TenTen as she noticed the pregnant bump concealed by a pale silk top that flowed below the bust. "I'm six months along" she explained solemnly. "There goes my social life…heck it's gone now, no booze and an order to cutback on the alcohol". Anko sighed dramatically. "How will I survive?"

"So…lunch?" Ino chirped. "I made reservations for us in Bram's"

"Uwwww ritzy" TenTen giggled. "I love that place I went there with a guy last week."

"You're always somewhere with a guy last week" snorted Ino.

TenTen huffed and Anko linked her arm. "Come on, time and – ick – carrot juice – wait for no woman"

* * *

Naruto collapsed onto the couch and closed his eyes. He was exhausted and confused. So much happening and so little time to collect his thoughts, his brain felt fried like an egg…mobsters…cakes…strippers… he winced as he thought about Sai. Oh man…

There was a knock on the door and Naruto rolled out of his ad hoc bed with a whine. He forced himself to open the door and sighed. Kakashi stood there looking vacant. "We're opening tomorrow"

Naruto blinked. "No we're opening in three days"

"…changed my mind" he yawned.

And Naruto nodded, closed the door as his new boss walked away.

And promptly blew up.

* * *

Sakura delighted at the first taste of the Bram's Chocolate Mousse. It was perfect…and she felt relaxed immediately.

"Get a look at that butt" TenTen sighed. Boy crazy as always she was eying up a guy on the street who had dropped a heap of fliers and was now scrambling around the storm of them to try and grab them all. Sakura had to admit, from what she could see in the blustery day that lifted his shirt as he stretched and snatched at the pages…it was a very nice body.

And then he turned around.

"WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?" Sakura wasn't sure if she'd said that aloud or not but she had definitely stood up and let her jaw drop. She'd never really paid attention to the fact Lee might look pretty good without his clothes on…but a glimpse and she'd been brain-stripping him.

She felt very wrong

Lee, Tenten, Anko and Ino were staring at her now. She calmly sat down and for once Lee didn't try to talk to her he just slumped away. Anko raised an eyebrow. "Rejected boy?" she enquired.

"Yeah – he's sweet but…you know…" Sakura shrugged

"He's got weird eyes but pluck those eyebrows and redo the haircut" TenTen mused. "I mean…you know…that body is another perk…he must work out"

"He's a kung fu expert" Sakura sighed as she prodded her chocolate mousse. "I'm supposed to attend a competition with him" she snagged a flier from the spherical bush planted in the corner of the terrace. "Ah – probably this"

"OMG!" TenTen squealed. "I love that show!"

Sakura frowned and Ino read the expression with a grimace. "This is a flier for The Ultimate Extreme Martial Arts Mega Brawl the UEMAMB – it's a big deal, the prize is a hefty cash mountain. If you compete it usually involves movie deals and junk"

Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"You should go for it, remember how you won all those contests?" pressed Anko as she sipped her smoothie.

"I don't know... I feel unmotivated since the hospital kicked me out, before I even had a chance to complete my studies…"

Ino gave a long sigh. "Listen up, that jerk you dated screwed you over, but this isn't the end of the world- we know you didn't do anything and some day he'll get his comeuppance"

"Count on it" Anko said, the room chilling to arctic cold in seconds. For a moment no one spoke until TenTen broke the silence.

"You should have sex with that Lee guy!"

* * *

Naruto sighed and sat down on the bench breathing heavily, he was exhausted and had very happily jogged off his frustrations leaning back in his orange tracksuit bottoms and white vest, earphones around his neck, bandana around his forehead. He leaned back and smiled as the brisk day calmed its winds and let the sun shine down on him.

Autumn was on the air…he had completely forgotten about Sai

Naruto choked on his breath…screw that he was back…

Sai was on his brain constantly now – why? He knew nothing about this guy, he'd been a one night stand that had come back over and over…like something was pushing them together, and binding them… that had happened before. Naruto was touching the scars on his cheeks. Yeah…that had been destiny of the bad kind…

He looked up, the sung caught his eyes and he winced, twisting away – and his eyes found Sai.

Sai looked at him with the deep dark eyes and Naruto knew they'd seen one another seeing one another. Should he get up and go? Should he stay? Would Sai ignore him?

The puff of cigarette smoke into his face caused him to jolt back. "Agh!" he yelped. Shikamaru sighed and looked at Sai. "See you at work" he moved away.

"…Who was that?" Naruto asked after a solid five minutes of silence.

"That was Shikamaru he's my…colleague"

"Not your friend?" Naruto enquired.

Sai furrowed his brow ever so slightly and Naruto felt something stir at the sight of the crinkle above his nose. He knocked it aside. "It's not easy to call him a friend…or anyone…it leads to complications" he was dressed in a cute grey sweater and black pants and boots. He had a backpack over his shoulder which had a chain strap shaped like a pair of handcuffs

An image of Sai in handcuffs slinked across his brain and he became quite distracted.

"About the other night…I'm sorry if you felt…awkward" Sai said at last

"Oh – eh - umm"

Sai sat down beside him. "I know what you must think…I didn't expect we'd ever see each other again…I just…don't like…the idea that…that you think little of me"

Naruto could feel his face burning. "Its not that I just I…I like you but I just…I…"

And Sai kissed him.

Unaware

That just across the park

A man watched him and narrowed his eyes

* * *

**To be continued...**

Sooner rather than later, I'm sooooo sorry for the delay, it would have been sooner but I got swallowed by college and essays on Theseus in Greek Art, 18th century English literature and the Feminist theories of Luce Irigaray...shudder...

In the next Chapter: Hinata Speaks. Sai and Naruto decide to see what they can acheive but opposition will rear its ugly head. The fates want Lee to get nekkid. And it seems like it will soon be time to Return to the Leaf


	7. Chapter 7

**The Cheesecake Rebellion**

Well another chapter rises

Happy New Years to all my readers and reviewers. You keep this baby going.

**Catastrophic Monsoon:** Yeah I gave Gaara a bit more here. He and Hinata will be sort of parallels to naruto's story as subplots. Its all about what happened and will happen in the Cheesecake Universe. I won't explain it in case I give too much away but...please excuse the self harm in this, I hate using it because its become overused by Mary Sues and a lot of the impact and understanding of it in real life has been lost to the shallow "this makes my character deep" mentality some people use it for. Nonetheless it will be examined in detail later on re:Gaara.

**Miss Ri:** a delight as always, your foul mouthedness was noted (stern frown) bold Miss Ri, there are children present

**Kurotani Shinju:** I love Sai too. Way better than overpowered Uchiha brats. He's great but I miss him now... :(

**Shinimegami7:** Is that a Persona Reference in your name? Anyway thank you, after I've been writing and rewriting a chapter I just can't notice anything my spellchecker misses. Its like I'm immune to noticing them

Thanks to all those who favored me. Yo Ho Away we Go

* * *

Shikamaru pounded his fist off the door. "Gaara!" he shouted. "Gaara!"

Kiba looked to Shikamaru and then to Kotetsu who was grimly glowering at the door. Kotetsu Haragane had been there for three years longer than the current "stable". He never spoke about why he was there or what happened to the people that had been replaced. He had a bandage on his face for unknown reasons but apparently it had been a knife fight that earned it for him.

"Leave me alone!" came the harsh hiss from inside.

"There's something dark in that boy" Kotetsu said.

Kiba nodded. "He's gotten worse and worse since that party" the young man muttered. "Before he had that scary look in his eyes but now…now he seems so scared its like that freaky look he gives you is -"

"Trying to strangle the life out of you" Kotetsu nodded. "Remember when he attacked that john? Beat the guy within an inch of unconsciousness – hell within an inch of death…but for some reason that blonde girl scared him into an even darker place"

Shikamaru inhaled on his cigarette angrily. "Damn it…why is everything getting so troublesome now?" he grunted. He stubbed the cigarette out on the stairway banister and bounded down the steps of the apartment to the front door. He went outside, climbed up the drainpipe and forced open the window to Gaara's room.

He snatched the razor out of Gaara's hand and gave him a firm smack across the face, then unlocked the door. Shikamaru lit another cigarette and handed Kotetsu the knife. "Get rid of this"

"Aww damn not again" Kiba exclaimed as he rushed to the bathroom for bandages and anti-septic. Shikamaru grabbed Gaara's arm but the punch winded him and Gaara leapt on him, eyes wide with anger. As always though Shikamaru could tell that the anger was only partially directed at him, the majority favouring Gaara himself. As was Gaara's way.

Shikamaru rolled on his back, flinging the boy over him onto the bed. He crashed onto it and Kotetsu restrained him. "Stop" he spat.

* * *

When they had first been together Naruto had been rough – aggressive – like some kind of wild animal. But when he kissed Sai there was only this strange alien sensation of tenderness – it had been there that night and in every subsequent kiss they had shared. But he truly appreciated it now.

"W-uh-we sh-should date" Naruto said as they broke the kiss.

Sai blinked and then smiled (and Naruto felt his heart fall because it was a fake smile). "Yes. I'd like that" he nodded.

Naruto gave a slow smile, there seemed to be sincerity in those words and that gave him hope that one day the smiles would be real. He took Sai's hand in his, marvelling at the warmth in the snow white digits. The heat between their palms spread through him in waves that made him feel so happy…more than any other man ever had.

Sai had never held a hand in his life…that's not true. His first love…but with Naruto it was strange and a bit frightening but he didn't dare break away. He'd read an article about this kind of thing. He might end up scaring Naruto away or offending him. Such was the plight of social navigation…

"We can go to dinner, perhaps?" Sai ventured.

"Dinner…Oh Shit! I have to go to work!" Naruto exclaimed as he shot to his feet. He pulled Sai up with him. "Quick a kiss for luck" he pulled Sai onto him with some of that animal passion he had exhibited before, even Sai was caught off guard by the enthusiasm…the kiss wasn't sexual per se just very energetic.

Good energetic. It was like Naruto had multiple ways of kissing but that all of them had a particular element of Naruto in them. Sai pondered this for a moment but suddenly realized Naruto was jogging backwards away from him waving and promising to call him.

Sai raised a hand in surprise…what he was sensing now…was…affection? Genuine affection? That was…the tingle in his body, the slight ache in his cheeks, the churning in his stomach…they didn't seem to be all to do with affection. So what then? What symptoms was an infection of affection? Sai was feeling very lost suddenly and that confused him further.

He looked at his arm.

Naruto's cell phone number was written there in Sai's eye liner. When had that…?

* * *

"We serve a light lunch" Kakashi grinned as he sautéed the potatoes for the fish dish. "That's all"

"…There are 30 people out there" Temari growled. "No one is dealing with the bookings – where the hell is the maitre d'?!"

Kakashi paused for a minute and then smiled. "Oh that's right. You're him…her… did I forget to mention that?"

"YES!" Temari bellowed causing a coffee pot to fall off the edge of the counter and clatter to the floor, graciously empty. Temari turned on her heel, straightened her fitted little black jacket and strutted towards the maitre d' box.

"I renamed the restaurant to "Leaf"" kakashi said.

"Y-yes I noticed" Naruto said carefully, choosing to stay neutral given this was the third time the name had changed since he had signed the contract. They signage was made of two plates in the archway over the main doors. Easily changed…the sign people were a clever bunch.

"So…how's your sex life?" Kakashi enquired

"How's yours?" Naruto retorted

"Non-existent – I'm very picky" Kakashi replied in his usual lazy fashion as he leafed through a dirty book (the naked men on the front only registered with Naruto now – strangely he remained unsurprised) and sipped coffee that had been meant for a customer.

"That was meant for table 5"

"I'm the boss"

"Is that your excuse for everything!?"

"…Yes…"

* * *

Sakura kicked the cardboard box out of her way and opened her locker. "Lunch" she sighed as she lifted out the box of Naruto's leftovers. Ever since his random cooking binge the freezer couldn't hold any more…

Sakura was positive the mountain of Tupperware and tinfoil was never ending, a forest of leftovers stretching into infinity.

"Hey-Hey-Hey!"

Sakura sighed as she heard Haku. "Yeah?" she grunted.

"Oh cranky – is it that time of the – eep!"

Sakura frowned. "Haku, I love you sweetie, but you keep talking about my cycle as you do with some odd and misplaced fascination and I will have to see to it that the next song you sing is a few octaves higher than the stratosphere – are we agreed?"

"---eeep" nodded Haku.

"Good boy then you can have these back. I would imagine you need them" Sakura said as she released Haku's groin and allowed him to exhale with relief. "Now what brings you down from the salon?"

Haku gave a week smile. "Aside from news of another show? - - - they're shooting an A&F thingy down the street. I can get us in"

Sakura sighed. "Fine. I'm bored" she decided as she took her coat from the locker. "But it had better be worth it!"

* * *

Sai didn't want to go home. So he didn't. He went to a coffee shop…aware he was being followed.

In his years on the streets he'd learned to take care of himself and that included knowing when he was being watched and followed. The latter was especially sensitive. He sat down in a coffee shop and began drawing on a napkin as he waited for the coffee to arrive.

"Hello" the man had sat down opposite Sai.

"Do I know you?" Sai enquired flatly.

"No. Not in the slightest"

"So why are you following me?"

The man gave a light smile. "I didn't mean to but – well I wanted to see who you were" he sat back in the booth. "You're very strange -"

Sai cut in with a fake smile. "That's quite flattering but I have to go"

"Your coffee hasn't arrived yet" the man pointed out wryly. He leaned forwards his voice became quite cold and harsh. "If you hurt him. I will break you."

Sai blinked for a moment.

"I mean Naruto" the man said, suddenly warm and fatherly again. "He is very important to me. I saw you kissing and wondered…" he trailed off for a moment, his expression distant as he stared away into nowhere in particular. "Thank you for speaking with me"

"I didn't speak much" Sai said with a fake smile trying to diffuse the situation like his books had taught him.

"No you didn't – and your smile isn't genuine" the man replied, Sai made a note of the scar across his nose and frowned as he left.

* * *

Sakura raised an eyebrow at the photo shoot. Skeletal women with puffed up lips staggered about in precarious heels. A skinny blonde woman with stretched skin was shouting in a British Accent. "It's Skinny" Haku whispered. "The pioneer of the stick thin look"

Sakura turned away from the woman to the mountain of well oiled men in the loin clothes. She did a double take as the bronzed Adonis with artfully mussed hair flexed his muscles…and then squeaked in surprise, a blush running through his entire body. "Sakura!" Lee exclaimed, hands shooting down to cover his crotch. "W-What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" repeated an incredulous Sakura.

"I – oh – I do some of this sort of work…" he trailed off. "It is cold out" he commented

"Yes…it is…" Sakura said as Haku bounded about behind her as if on a shot to the heart of gay adrenaline.

"I hope the weather improves"

"Yes that would be nice"

More silence.

"It has been a long winter this spring"

"Very much so" nodded Sakura.

Oh man they were desperate here…

"Are you well?"

Sakura sighed. "Yes Lee. I am"

"That is good"

"Yes…"

And that's when Lee's loincloth blew away. For a moment there was utter silence and then Sakura turned around. "I need to go" she exhaled and made a brisk stride towards the exit of the park. Skinny was condemning a girl for eating a donut so Sakura popped her in the jaw as she walked past. It had to be said, hitting a critic of plus size models made her feel so much better…though the mental image of stark naked Lee in the backdrop of "urban jungle" didn't leave her mind.

She needed booze.

* * *

Naruto felt the gaze on the back of his neck before the door to the restaurant even opened. It was the cold burn of Neji Hyuuga's eyes…yes indeed…he wiped the egg that had shattered in his hand when he'd seized up into the bin and braced himself for Mr. Hyuuga and his creepy nephew stooge. "Someone to see you!" Temari hissed in the small window.

Naruto untied his apron and removed his hat, putting them aside and opening his white chef's jacket a bit to give him room to breathe. As he stepped out of the kitchen he wondered what could possibly have brought the Mafia Man down upon him again. Maybe now he wanted solid gold icing on the cake.

The young woman in a bulky overcoat over a nice looking dress blinked at him twice with the Hyuuga eyes. It was Hinata. The birthday girl herself! "She wanted to meet you" Neji grunted. "Be Brief." He turned away and Temari glowered at the base of his skull as if hoping to detach his head from there. She mouthed "jackass" to Naruto and headed over to some of the customers present for their midday coffee and late lunch specials. Naruto and Hinata stared at one another for a moment…a red colour rising in the young ladies cheeks as she stood before him.

"Would you like to sit down?" Naruto inquired, finding forming the words awkward in his mouth.

She gave a not and a soft sound in reply as Naruto held out a chair for her to sit on. He then sat opposite her and waited. Silence. Silence. Further Silence. "So what can I do for you, Ms. Hyuuga?"

The girl seemed to shrink back into her overcoat which looked out of place on her slender flame. She bit her thumb gently, a nervous habit it would seem. Then slowly she began to breathe in short gasps…or so it seemed. Naruto paused when he heard her sighs make a sound like words.

"Are you okay?" Naruto enquired, half afraid she had some sort of respiratory difficulty coming on.

"…s…"

"Would you like some water?"

"…no…"

"Can I help at all?"

"…"

Naruto felt like he needed to sigh. This was pretty hopeless…

"…please…I…like Chocolate but not too much" Hinata's words echoed through Naruto simply because he could hear them albeit with a little difficulty.

"..Okay" Naruto said.

"…………Thank you" she rose and left. Naruto sat there for a few minutes; he felt a strange connection to Hinata. Something about her tugged at something within him. The same sadness and isolation. That's what. Like when he had been back "home" in... That Place. The less said the better. Shaking free of the claws of memory he buttoned up his jacket and returned to the kitchen. His phone gave a beep and he peered over at it to see a new number attached to the message which simply read: "It's me. Sai." He felt a funny flutter in his chest and blinked in surprise. He'd felt that before – he only hoped the direction it took was healthier.

* * *

Iruka sat in the hotel bar with the letter in his hands. He stared at it – the neat hand writing declaring it for "Naruto". He was tempted to burn it. But he couldn't. Naruto needed to face this. Iruka was so tempted to return to Little Leaf without letting Naruto know he was here, he'd seen him in the park but the fact he was kissing that scantily clad young man had deterred any interaction bar the threatening of the aforementioned young man…

Slowly he stood up and took another swig of his drink before taking his coat from the back of the seat and heading for the door. It would be late evening by the time he reached the apartment…but he couldn't leave it any longer.

* * *

Next Chapter: Sakura Gets her Booze. Haku rehearses. Naruto has to make a tough call. Temari hunts Gaara down and his past is revealed. Iruka has a very strange dinner.

Review me baby!


	8. Chapter 8

**_The Cheesecake Rebellion_**

* * *

Thanks to all the reviewers! Sorry about the delay, work and college got in my way and other projects too. Including one that will now be showing up in the excellent comic Pride High of – yeah my mini-story got selected to appear in an issue! Yay! Anyway bragging aside here's the chapter, hopefully I can get the next installment done faster as we're nearer the end than the start now.

**Thanks:**

**Melancholytoabeat:** Thank you SO much, I'm really glad you and others enjoy it. Sorry for the delay – forgive me?

**Kaesaku:** Thanks, let me know what you like and don't like, it helps

**Book Mad TJ:** How book mad are you on a scale of 1 to ten…and yes updated we are it took time so I hope you alerted my story :D

**xXxTylerxXx:** Iruka's not a stalker EXACTLY…err…well…oh look something shiny. As for Lee…he happens to have a great body.

**Ms. Sunday:** I'm glad you liked it, this chapter is heavy on the Sand Siblings story, I just felt I needed to tell this one in the midst of the main story. It all ties in eventually. As for the Hyuugas, more of them next chapter, they're very efficient gangsters albeit sexist ones. Like the Manga itself (and the anime – seriously look at how the girls persistently lose but the boys continuously triumph and have excellent battles, Sakura hasn't had a proper fight since teaming up with Chiyo! And Konan, how the hell is she Akatsuki when Water and Fire can defeat her so quickly and now Tsunade is in a freaking COMA! Okay breathing) As for IrukaKakashi there may be some…and as for the last question…yes…I drew parallels for the Ninetails in this world as his homosexuality, the shunning of the town was due to it being revealed, Iruka received a lesser shunning for other reasons. All to be revealed soon. And yes I have been reviewed, reviewed but good (gets cigarette and icecream)

**Catastrophic Monsoon:** Glad you liked it and especially Sakura, I had a cannonfic where she fought Kabuto (pre Orochimaruplotdevice Kabuto) and felt some of that should translate over a little. She's a good character, she had real growth but where is she now in the manga? Constantly missing action, that's where.

**Billie the Fourth Sage:** yay, excitement, more on Iruka to come!

**Shinmegami7:** It's a manga, an anime and a video game, Shin Megami Tensei Persona series. 3 and 4 kicked ass. Well worth reading/playing. The anime is a bit lame. The themes of inner self, personality, conflict and sacrifice are very cool. Now! Heh – sober – whose sober anymore? Gaara's past...well here you go, try this. Its not resolved yet but it will be. And yeah Iruka is mother hen indeed! Now just for you: MORE HAKU! Only this time its Aqua, specifically Barbie Girl…sigh…

**Dominno:** Yeah hotpants and a pole, go Shikamaru go! Keep reading I hope you enjoy it all!

Thanks to **all the favorites, alerts and reviews**, you're all fantastic and I appologise for the delay, its been tough to update lately. So much is happening.

Can I also voice my disappointment we haven't got a naruto yaoi dating sim? I mean seriously so many options and yet nothing but naked boob yaoi girls getting ploughed on newgrounds…seriously anyone out there want to work on something – there's a Sakura dating sim that eventually gets VERY explicit…why no yaoi option!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Oh just read the fic…and review

* * *

Sakura took a swig of the beer and Anko sighed wistfully as the other girls winced. "Ugh that's doing the trick; I've forgotten whets his name…"

"Lee?" Tenten offered, earning herself an elbow in the side from Ino.

"Ugh him…I mean he's got fuzzy eyebrows and big weird eyes and doesn't use contractions…what is with that? I mean seriously!" she took another swig, grabbed another bottle, popped the cap off with her teeth and started drinking the second she had spat it across the floor.

"Classy" Ino sighed.

"Shup" Sakura slurred. "He's so…ewww"

"And yet you're all a tizzy for him" Anko cooed. She frowned. "Don't kick me because I'm being sarcastic" she snapped at her belly. She frowned again. "You know the rush of motherly instincts I get when you do that really isn't going to protect you from a stint watching only educational TV once you're born"

"She's…talking to the baby…right?" Tenten ventured

"Yup" Ino said, sipping her cosmopolitan

"Is that normal?"

"Probably"

"Should we ignore it?"

"Yup"

Sakura fell off her chair

"That was Lee's fault!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Yes let's blame everything on a set of Abs" Ino muttered

Haku stirred, strewn out on the other side of their corner booth. "Abs? Where? Zabuza has great abs…and he's hung like a horse…and he can go all night, I can't count my average number of orgasms on all my fingers"

"Strange place to have an orgasm" Tenten smirked.

"Actually there are some really strange places" Haku yawned. "I'll tell you some time" he dozed off again.

"Please don't" Ino groaned as she watched Sakura make her way diligently back toward the alcohol. "We're going to need to get her home soon…"

"I do not envy the task…oh and I plead pregnancy not to have to do it" Anko added swiftly. "The girl is pretty cranky as a drunk"

"Inner Sakura does get out" Ino nodded. "Like when she laid into that biker dude for calling her a frigid bitch…or that time she cut off about twelve inches of hair in a catfight with Kin whets-her-face…Tsuchi – Tsugi – Sagi – Ziggy?"

"Oh I remember! That was when she went all hardcore and beat her up. After that she started competing in kick boxing and we have…Sakurazon 2000 stalking the planet" giggled Tenten.

"Ssssshhhhhh she might here you" Ino whispered.

* * *

Naruto lay on his belly amidst his duvet and sheets. It was a chilly night to be sure so he was wearing his warm long sleeve cotton pajama set. He'd treated to a pair that were on sale and had been discounted by Sakura.

It dismayed him greatly she folded sweaters for a living instead of saving lives. He remembered how they'd met…her on holiday to That Place from the big city with her doting parents and him trying to fit in with the boys at school who once or twice threw rocks at him because of how he behaved.

His pinkie twitched and he glared at it. "Not now, stupid memories…"

He cast a glance to the tin box on his set of drawers. For a moment he hesitated…and then he moved towards it. The chilly evening faded away as he placed twitching and unsure hands on the box, debating whether or not to open it…

"I'M ZABUZA'S GIRL! IN ZABUZA'S SLING! MASTURBATION! I LOVE HIS PENETRATION COME ON ZABBY LETS GO PARTY AHAHAHYEAH"

Naruto jumped in shock at the loud screaming song coming from the hall outside the apartment. He gritted his teeth as he recognized Haku's voice. The drag queen was going to be intimately acquainted with Naruto's fi - - - the mental image that accompanied that was disturbing and would never again be brought up. As far as Naruto was concerned all worrying sex things came down to Haku's bedroom.

He slipped back under the covers and almost immediately dropped off to sleep.

* * *

"I'm fine!" Sakura assured Ino and Tenten, waving them off. "I can handle this! I'm fine! I'm better than fine! I'm fabulous. Take care of Haku"

"YOU CAN FUCK ME BARE! DRESS ME IN WOMENS UNDERWEAR!" Haku belted out another line of his song.

"Okay, fine" Tenten winced. "But only because in three seconds I have to either gag him or let the tenants burn him at a stake."

From somewhere within her giant LV handbag she produced a handkerchief and jammed it into Haku's mouth. "My handbag will next be used to beat you if you don't keep a zip on your lip"

"Mffwffmmmmwmmmmffmf" Haku said.

"Okay I am disturbed to say I know that relates to your sexlife somehow" Ino groaned.

"See you guys later" Sakura called after them as they hauled Haku (the once quite boy had exploded out of the closet a few years back and heaven help the universe, almighty Buddha) out of sight and down the stairs. Sakura fumbled with her keys, cursing the inventor of key rings for making them so hard to handle…

"Sakura?" Lee had appeared at the door to his apartment in shorts and a vest. "Are you all right?" Sakura started to giggle. "Is something the matter? Can I help you?"

"I saw you naked" she giggled.

Lee flushed a brilliant red. "Oh…I…"

"Drink?" Sakura offered, holding up a bottle from her handbag

"I don't drink alcohol"

"What if I said it was a vitamin drink?"

"Is it?"

"Yyyyyeesssssssss" Sakura stretched the world as if that would make it more honest

Lee took the bottle cautiously. "Smells funny…"

He took a swig…and a blush rapidly rose through his body as he swallowed…and it was all downhill from there.

* * *

Naruto looked into Sakura's room…no sign…she wasn't in the kitchen either…or on the couch. He frowned, positive she had returned last night. He looked at his watch – staff meeting in an hour, he had to go now and be punctual…yes punctual.

That word was starting to make sense…

He opened the door…and saw Sakura shutting Lee's one behind her. "No Way!" Naruto exclaimed. Sakura clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Hangover equals more punching of your groin" she growled through her teeth. "Shhh" she picked up her bra and ducked into the apartment, leaving Naruto to try and erase the mental images he had in his mind.

He caught the bus on time and everything, feeling particularly chuffed with himself he made a beeline for work. It took him an hour but he made it, running towards the restaurant that had been renamed "Paradise".

"Naruto" Iruka's voice rang out clearly over the bustle and cacophony of the street. Naruto turned around, and ran straight into a lamppost. Fortunately he didn't smash his face but he was knocked over onto his posterior in a blink.

"Iruka-sensei?" he groaned as his teacher helped him up. "W-What are you doing here?"

"I stopped by your apartment and Sakura said you were gone to work so I came over and waited for you to arrive"

"Well I - - - - wait you beat me here?"

"It only takes 20 minutes on your bike, I hope you don't mind, Sakura loaned me the key" Iruka indicated Naruto's bike, chained to the rails near the restaurant. "Naruto, I need to talk to you -"

"I have a meeting can we talk later?"

"I must -"

"I have to go – my boss will flip if I'm late"

"Naruto" Iruka said. "You need to know -"

"Naruto!" Kakashi had appeared near the pair unseen in creepy ninja fashion. "You're fifteen minutes late to your meeting"

"I know, I'll be there for the---" Naruto froze. "I can't be late because you're here and not there"

Kakashi grinned. "I overslept"

"Nnnngh" groaned Naruto.

"Who is this?" Kakashi enquired, looking at Iruka with wide eyes.

"Iruka-sensei, this is my manager Kakashi. Iruka sensei was my teacher…back… where I… where I…used to live" Naruto choked out, he felt Iruka's eyes upon him but focused on Kakashi to try and ignore the feeling of the gaze.

"Nice to meet you" Kakashi smiled.

Iruka nodded. "Thank you. Well I should go -"

"Come back for dinner" Kakashi said.

"Oh I doubt I could afford -" Iruka began

"We're very affordable, even more so when I'm paying" Kakashi beamed

"I couldn't let you do that" Iruka began suddenly very flustered

Kakashi gave another big grin. "But I always pay on the first date"

"Date?"

"Yes"

"First date?"

"Yes"

"But I -"

"No I really insist. Are you free at eight?"

"Yes-"

"Then Eight it shall be. I'll see you then" Kakashi hooked an arm around Naruto's and marched him inside. "You can talk to Naruto then too"

A very spaced looking Iruka only mustered the coherent thought to nod.

* * *

The pounding at the door stirred Kiba on the couch. He'd stayed over with Gaara and Shikamaru after coming back from being used as a naked Sushi platter. He sat up groggily his beloved hound yawning and rising as well, totally synchronized by the years; they padded half-asleep to the door and opened it…

Temari burst in like an avenging wind. "Gaara!" she shouted.

The muscular, stocky guy with broad chest and shoulders and spiky brown hair followed her, casting an intriguing glance to Kiba and giving him a once over that implied he imagined Kiba naked. Kiba felt his body go warm…hey they guy was hot and his trousers bulged in all the right places…they bulged like a Patrick Fillion Cartoons might…the guy could have stepped out of one of those comics - - - wait they were breaking in!

"Gaara!" Temari shouted as she stormed up the staircase followed by the hunk.

There was a slamming and the click of a lock as Gaara barred himself into the room again. "Kankuro" Temari said…and then came the unmistakable sound of someone trying to shoulder a door in. Kiba glanced at the front door as a confused looking Sai stepped in. They pounded up the staircase after the intruders just as Kankuro managed to smash the door in. Shikamaru swung at Kankuro who nimbly avoided and punched him in the gut.

"Leave him Kankuro" Temari snapped as she strode towards Gaara who was in his tracksuit bottoms and oversized hoodie with a mix of anger and fear marring his dainty white face.

For a few moments no one moved. Then Temari hauled Gaara into a hug.

"I am sorry" she said. "I am so sorry, I couldn't protect you, and I had no idea"

Gaara was still for a moment and then pushed away from her. "You didn't care."

"I didn't know!" Temari exclaimed. She hesitated. "No maybe I did and couldn't bring myself to believe it". Kankuro grunted from the door. "Our mom protected me, but she died in childbirth so you were unprotected from the get go…" Kankuro shook with disgust. "He used to watch me in the shower right up until I joined the army to get away from him" Kankuro said at last. "When I was discharged I didn't come back, if I had -"

"What could you have done?" Gaara growled. "You didn't care what our father or our uncle did to me" he glared at Temari. "You escaped because you were a girl"

"Our father made me drop out of school to work!" Temari exclaimed.

"Well he molested me!" snarled Gaara. His eyes snapped to the door. Sai pulled it closed. "I feel empty and cold but when I hate that's not the case" he sneered at his brother and sister. "Guess what I'm feeling right now"

Temari turned away to hide her tears and took a moment before speaking up. "Kankuro is staying at my apartment" she put the notepad page on the bedside table and headed for the door. "We escaped the trailer park and came looking for you, we never gave up hope that we could find you…" she hesitated. "They're both dead, you know."

Gaara blinked. "How?" he grunted

"Our beloved father fell asleep smoking, the fire spread, he died" Kankuro shrugged. "Our Uncle…drunk driving. His car was wrapped around a signpost on route 44". He shook his head. "Couldn't have happened to a nicer man"

"I'm glad to hear they're dead – go away" Gaara said as he turned to his window, shoulders raised and body hunched. "You left me alone before so do it again. Get out of my room!"

Kankuro looked to Temari; she nodded, turned and headed for the door. At the door she hesitated and looked over her shoulder. "We want to be a family again; we want to make amends for failing you before…"

"Get. Out."

Kankuro took Temari by the shoulder and lead her out. Kiba sniffed at him and he raised an eyebrow, looking down at Akamaru who simply flipped onto his back at Kankuro's glance.

The siblings left and Kiba picked up the puppy, muttering "you have the right idea" before turning to his comrades of the night. "So…what do we do about this?"

"Nothing. Leave it" Sai said before anyone else could interject. "We can talk with him later. He needs time" Sai cast another glance at the door and then ushered the others back downstairs. "If we tried now he'd just resent us as well."

"The boy has a point" Shikamaru said calmly as they stepped into the kitchen. "I wondered when the past would catch up with him"

"You knew?" Kiba whispered.

"Yes. Well I figured I knew what had made him the way he is. I've been reading psychology books and he had all the markers of an abused child" Shikamaru poured himself some coffee and leaned back against the kitchen counter. "Danzo knows how to prey on his boys."

Sai shuddered. That was too true.

* * *

Iruka sat at the table.

Naruto sat at the table.

Kakashi lounged at the table.

There was silence.

"So – you were Naruto's teacher"

"Yes, the school in Little Leaf is very small so I taught most students to come out of the village" he looked at the soup before him. "This is nice soup."

"Yes" Naruto twiddled his thumbs.

Iruka put the spoon down. "You need to return to little Leaf". The silence magically got worse. "Sarutobi sensei is dying, the snakebite wound got infected this winter and he's slowly leaving us. He sent me to bring you back"

Naruto looked down at his soup and glared at it…in response it stayed utterly still. That right soup, fear the chef. "I can't go back"

Iruka sighed and nodded. "I understand that you feel like that -"

"No you don't! I was chased out of town! I had eggs thrown at me in the street!" he pointed to the thin scars on his cheeks. "I was put through a glass coffee table! And no one did anything – not even you!"

The restaurant was silent as Naruto realized he'd been shouting and was now on his feet. Flustered he sat back down and for a while there was silence. Iruka frowned and then looked at Naruto. "They've all but shunned me; did you know I have a supervisor watching me in the class? That I can't be around the students unless he's there. Now that Sarutobi is off the city council the old bastard and the decrepit hag are closing down on my "deviance". They've made my life hell, people turn away from me in the street, give me four to six feed of wide birth on the sidewalk if they have to pass me and I can't even attend parent teacher conferences."

"Then why stay?" Naruto cut in with a chuck voice.

"Because I will not be chased out of my home by bigots." Iruka pushed the soup aside. "We choose our own paths Naruto, Sarutobi sensei tried to help you once, the path you chose lead out of town on a train ticket he supplied so that you could keep your savings intact…ask yourself this, Naruto, you walked away from the village but who helped you to do that and what do you owe them?"

Naruto closed his eyes for a moment. "…Fine…I'll go back to Little Leaf"

They ate in silence for the rest of the night.

* * *

Sakura was strewn on the couch with a cold facecloth across her eyes. The sound of Naruto returning reached her ears. She lifted the cloth and winced. "Naruto?" she croaked?

"Yeah" he grunted.

"You okay?"

There was silence from the doorway and then Naruto spoke. "I have to go back to Little Leaf" Sakura bolted upright. "Sarutobi-sensei is dying…he wants to see me and I promised Iruka I would go."

Sakura stared at him for a moment.

"I have to pack I'm going tomorrow afternoon"

Sakura frowned and leapt to her feet. "I'm going too"

Naruto smiled at her and they gave in and hugged. Then Naruto frowned and pulled back a little. "…you smell…and feel…relaxed…" his eyes widened. "You had sex!"

Sakura groaned and covered her face. "With Lee" she admitted. "I was drunk, he was drunk – and he's a lightweight by the way – and I crept out while he was doing push-ups…one handed push ups…one handed push ups in a hand stand…in the shower" she shook her head. "Oh my god I am SUCH an idiot."

There was a rhythmic knocking at the door and Naruto was stunned to see Sakura back flip over the couch, pull the cover over herself and remain hidden on the floor. "That's Lee's knock…I'm not in!" she hissed from somewhere near the floor.

Naruto sighed and trudged to the door, amazed at how his impending doom in the place of his birth was going to get swept under the rug in favor of sex scandals. He opened the door and Lee knocked on his forehead, much to Naruto's chagrin. "I apologize, Naruto" Lee exclaimed. "I was looking for Sakura."

"She went out."

"Oh"

Lee looked suitably heartbroken. "Could you inform her I would like to speak with her?" he mumbled. Feeling sorry for the poor guy Naruto nodded and gave an uplifting smile that, given his current mood, wasn't all that uplifting. As Lee headed back to his own apartment, Sai stepped into view.

"Hi" Sai said.

Naruto felt himself smile. "Hi" and it was genuine.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course"

Sai smiled and walked in with Naruto. He peered towards the door of Sakura's room and saw her flinging things into a case. "Is she going away?"

"Yes. So am I. I'm…I'm going to where I was born" Naruto said as he walked into the kitchenette and opened the fridge. "Just for a few days" he looked at Sai who was as expressionless as ever.

"…I'll miss y-"

"Comewithmeplease" Naruto blurted the words out before he was even aware of them forming on his tongue. Sai was silent and Naruto busied himself putting almond tart out and adding whipped cream and cherry sauce and not thinking about the fact this seemed to be moving quite fast suddenly…like an avalanche…oh hell…

"Okay" Sai said at last. "That's perfect. Yes. I'd love to"

"Cool. Coz I have to go away and then I have to plan a birthday menu and pull it off or the Mafia will take my kneecaps…" he covered his face. "My life is insane."

Sai stared at him for a moment as the blonde lifted the plates, his hands shaking so the spoons balanced beside the cake rattled like crazy. He steadied Naruto's hands and smiled. "Let's go and eat in your room". He trailed his fingertips up Naruto's bare arms to his biceps and then accepted a plate, licking cream off a spoon.

Not exactly subtle but it did the trick...

* * *

Hinata peered down at the picture in the newspaper…Naruto was standing with the rest of the staff. She smiled to herself and ran her index finger down along his printed jawline. She sighed.

"Daddy?" she called as she wandered down the hall. "When will Naruto be back around?"

Mr. Hyuuga looked up from his newspaper. "I can have him brought whenever we need him"

"I'd rather he come of his own free will" she paused. "I imagine so would he..."

"I will make provisions for us to be able to contact him easily" he responded. "Leave it to me, don't trouble yourself with details. Eventually it will be your husband who runs the family. You should simply know how to be a good wife and woman in this family"

Hinata froze for a moment and then nodded slowly. She turned around and left the study.

* * *

Reviews make the emoninjamarysue (Sasuke) cry...so lets make the little bastard cry shall we? :P

Love you all

**In the next chapter:** Naruto discovers the "wonders" of modern communications technology, Iruka gets groped, Sai gets a workplace reprimand and we return to Little Leaf.


	9. Chapter 9

**Cheesecake Rebellion**

* * *

_**Hey, so yeah...wow! Long time since an update...college got me and finding this story again got difficult. This is mostly filler, next chapter may well be my finale but those of you who stuck with this: Thank you. I'm trying to find my way back here again but the anime let me down and so I suppose reminding myself of where this came from became more difficult. Still I owe it to the many wonderful reviewers and readers to try and finish this eventually and give them a satisfactory ending.**_

_**I look forward to anyone that can provide reviews here, it has been a while so I hope people feel like coming back to this**_

* * *

Naruto slipped the apron on and knotted it tightly around his waist. He certainly had a pep in his stride despite the fact that this evening he was heading for Little Leaf. "Guest to see you Chef" one of the bus boys shouted. Naruto looked up and saw Sakura standing in the doorway, bag on her arm. "You left your phone" she said as she put it into his back pocket and patted his firm ass for good measure.

"Uh Thanks" he mumbled. "Mind not doing that?"

"What?" she chuckled patting him on the ass.

Naruto just sighed. "Will you be ready to go when I get home tonight?"

"Of course"

"...for real?"

"Yes!" Sakura checked her watch. "Now I need to go, Haku and Zabuza want me to go sling shopping with them" she grinned as Naruto blanched and patted him on the cheek. "Just kidding we're looking for swimwear, I want to go swim in Hokage Lake while we're up there". She waved at him as she headed for the door. "Have a nice day, take care of yourself"

Naruto nodded and checked his own watch with a sigh. "I will...I have the lunch service today. Temari says that it's pretty quiet"

Three hours later and Naruto was sure that Temari had said "a riot" and not "quiet". He put the chicken ciabatta sandwich with homemade relish on the tray and turned back to the pan he was frying potatoes on. "Let's get a move on!" he shouted over his shoulder. "Where the hell is my sauce? The Parsley sauce!" he added as one of the under-chefs advanced cautiously.

"Chill" Kazaki said as he wandered in the back door. "It's cool..."

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS ABOUT" Naruto bellowed as he cracked an egg in one hand for a poached egg.

"This is true..." Kakashi shrugged. He wandered over and took a potato with a fork from his pocket. "Are we busy?"

Naruto's left eye twitched and Obito, the sous-chef, just barely jumped in time to stop him hurling a frying pan at Kakashi's head. "Yes! Believe me!"

"Nah I don't believe it" Kakashi said.

"BELIEVE IT!" Naruto bellowed, a carving knife in hand.

"You should say that more often...good confidence" Kakashi sighed as he headed out into the restaurant. "Good delivery, I'll be in my office having a nap." He left just in time to avoid a massive wet dish cloth slamming into the door causing a terrified bus boy to whimper in fear and edge away from Naruto.

Naruto snarled like a wild animal and returned to cooking like a madman.

* * *

Sai inhaled and turned to face the door to Danzo's office. His hand was shaking, his whole body was trembling and he felt his throat closing up. Danzo was terrifying – Sai felt a shudder wrack his body as he remembered...

"Hello young man"

"Five for a rub, ten for a blow..." Sai had licked his lips as he leaned against the window of the big black BMW. "...hundred for a fuck." Danzo smirked and turned to look at him, his eye patch menacing in the dark.

"Oh...do you sell yourself so short always? A handsome young buck like you could fetch much more with the right salesman"

Sai had hesitated. "Look pal I don't -"

"Are you a virgin?"

"No..."

"...You're young...when did you lose your virginity?" he was so direct...and terrifying.

"...years ago..."

"Ah. I see. Well how does this sound? I'm hosting a party and you could make 1000 dollars for the night...if you're willing and I'll even ensure you have a bank account set up for it...set aside...neatly"

Sai could have said no and left this life... he laughed at the memory and knocked on the door. Fuen opened the door, didn't say anything, just looked imperious and permitted the entry of the nervous young rent boy.

"Hello Sai" Danko rasped from behind his desk. "What can I do for you today?"

Sai shifted uneasily under the gaze of that single eye...it was dark and menacing and it stripped away to your very core, eating as it went, trying to devour everything good it could find. Out with it, he decided. Just get it said.

"I want to go away for a while"

Danko looked at him more intently and Sai gave his fake smile. The one Danko had taught him in fact...Danko returned to his paperwork and the clock ticked away. Fuen started filing her gaudy nails and a strange rhythm of scratching, ticking and writing took over. "No" Danko said at last, closing a file. "You're wanted here"

"The others can handle it" I said calmly.

"No, you are wanted specifically"

"I promised a friend I would accompany them somewhere"

"I'm afraid you jumped the gun on that"

"...Then I resign"

Everything seemed to stop save the clock and Danko's face remained unchanged. He returned Sai's fake smile with one of his own, one that had a threat in it. "I don't think you mean that, you need us...we protect you". Sai shifted on the spot but stood his ground.

"I want the money you put aside for me...and I want to go"

"If you go something nasty could happen" Fuen cooed.

Sai didn't care. He wanted to be with Naruto and no one was going to stop him. The thought of the blonde filled him with energy and he hurriedly suppressed any expression from his face he wasn't sure if Danko had seen anything but he froze his mask in place once more. "I understand, and I am grateful for the help and guidance over the years but...I want to get out while the getting is good, I don't want to do this anymore and you will find others to replace me".

Danko never took his eyes off Sai. "I forbid it...the Root of Eden has many people who pay for its services and if you quit now you will ruin their plans. Perhaps in a few months, but until then you are booked out". Fuen stood, pulling a book out of somewhere in the sleeve region. It smelt of caustic amounts of lavender.

"For instance Senator Ruteggan is in town tomorrow night and then after that Jean Paul Von Hollander is flying in between shoots for his movies. He is claiming its a scientologists meeting... so as you can see big clients and no free time" she whispered, getting dangerously close to him.

Sai didn't shudder but instead...nodded. "I understand. Perhaps in a few months"

If he didn't say this he wouldn't leave the office.

Danko gave an even bigger fake smile to the one Sai was affecting. "Excellent. A Few Months".

Sai stepped out of the office and nearly threw up...he needed to go home. Now...

* * *

Naruto fidgeted with the blackberry. He had to send a message to the Hyuuga family to let them know he was leaving town. "Dear Mister Hyuuga"..."To: Mr. Hyuuga"... "For the attention of Mr. Hyuuga".

Temari sat down beside him in the booth, the restaurant was quiet now...she'd just arrived in and was looking tired. "What are you doing?"

"Telling the mob boss I'm not skipping town I'm just visiting family" Naruto lamented. "Oh man... the birthday is in another 2 weeks and they've doubled my budget for Miss Hinata's party. You will help me...right?"

Temari sighed and lit a cigarette...yup she was stressed. "Sure, why the heck not"

"I have to go back to the village for a while but we can email...there's one place in the entire town with internet I think" he explained. "So far so good but they want me to have prepared samples of food, a desert tray, the BIG cake...oh man the big cake...it's turning out terribly lately, its hard as a rock or tastes like nothing..." he shook his head. "I swear I don't know what the trick is to making Belgian Chocolate Cheese Cake but its escaping me over and over again and they will put concrete shoes on me if anything goes wrong!"

Temari patted his head as he fell forward onto his arms. "There, there" she sighed.

"I don't know how I got into this"

"Luck"

"Well Fuck"

Naruto looked at the blackberry. "Okay: "To Mr. Hyuuga. From Naruto Uzumaki. Mr. Hyuuga, I am writing to you to inform you that I will be visiting my family for one week as of tomorrow, the 12th when I return I will of course be at your disposal for the party and I will be contactable by phone for the remainder of the week. Please find attached a landline number to call if you have any enquiries. I hope the menu was to your liking and I will endeavour to edit it before I return if there are any problems with it. Regards. Naruto Uzumaki". How does that sound?"

"Like beureaucratic drivel...well done"

"Thanks" he said as he hit send and watched the little green envelope start to move.

He looked up to see Iruka approaching with a case under his arm.

"Hello Sensei" Naruto smiled. Iruka looked tired and grim. "What's wrong?"

"...your boss called me at 4am to ask me if I wanted pancakes this morning"

"Oh" Naruto murmured. "...did you?"

"No Naruto I did NOT" growled his frustrated tutor. "...It was...well..."

"Pancakes are your favourite food"

"Yes...I know"

"And you didn't have them?"

"Not now Naruto" Iruka snapped. "I've got to get the early train back, I'll see you tomorrow evening when you arrive and I'll take you to the inn"

"Yes Okay..." Naruto nodded. "Take care"

Iruka gave a faint smile. "I always do...goodbye Naruto, take care Temari"

Temari gave him a wave and he headed out of the restaurant.

"I see what Kakashi sees in him" she commented.

"His good soul?"

"Well that and a nice ass"

* * *

Kakashi was outside as Iruka left the restaurant. "Would you like pancakes now?"

Iruka stopped and shook his head. "I have a train to catch"

Kakashi gave a charming smile. "Raincheck?"

Iruka felt a pang of regret now...the sound of hope...this guy really liked him...so he had to tell him. "I'm afraid I won't be coming back to the city after this trip. My home is in the valley. I belong there and I have a life there" he shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry"

Kakashi looked at him blankly. "...okay..."he said softly and kissed Iruka on the cheek. "Safe trip... see you sometime soon" and hurried away. Iruka kind of felt like he had kicked a puppy. But he had to be honest, the city wasn't where he belonged, it wasn't his place...he sighed and turned back to try and hail a taxi...he completely missed Kakashi grabbing a suitcase out of his Mustang and heading to his apartment over the restaurant.

* * *

Lee opened the door to investigate the pounding noises in the hall. Two burly, suited men stood in the hall knocking on Sakura and Naruto's door. "Can I help you?" Lee enquired. The men rotated on the spot in unison and looked at him with dark piggy eyes. From between them stepped a delicate girl with pale eyes and a dainty kimono on. She held a parasol and looked...delicate.

"I was hoping to see Naruto?"

"He is not in at present, I do not know when he will return" Lee explained.

"Oh...I see..." the girl pursed her lips. "Please, could you give this to him? It is of the greatest importance he get it today" one of the men proffered an envelope to Lee. "We shall check that he received it" the girl continued. "Thank you" she added as Lee accepted the envelope.

"I will deliver it, most assuredly" he promised.

"Thank you" The girl and her two minders were gone in a few quick steps, out of sight in the elevator. Lee looked at the weighted manila envelope in his hands. He placed it on the dresser near his door and went to do 150 push ups. He turned the stereo on and dropped to the ground as Eye of the Tiger belted out.

* * *

He was trapped. He wouldn't escape until he was dead or too old, he'd be Danko's puppet until Danko got bored...

Sai looked up from his pillow as Shikamaru and Kiba entered. "What?" he sighed.

Kiba threw the bag onto the bed. "Open it."

Sai frowned. "I don't have time for games I have a damn appointment in an hour"

"No" Kiba said firmly, Sai turned. A note of sorrow had hung in his friends voice. "Open it"

Sai slowly rose from his sprawl on the worn old duvet and opened the duffle bag. The miscellaneous notes were stuffed into the bag, at a glance...thousands? Not many but maybe two or three grand...holy crap.

"What is this?" he already knew. It was their escape.

"It's money, tips...I guess" Shikamaru murmured. "Saved up over the past three years...to give us an escape from Danzo if we ever felt we had to. Fact is that neither of us has a reason to escape but...you do". Sai pushed the back away and Shikamaru pushed it back towards him on reflex. "You have someone that makes you smile for real. So we talked about it and...we know you wanted some time free to go with him...so take this and take the rest of your life".

Kiba was nodding vehemently. "Danzo won't let you go, you're his favourite. Me or Shika, we stand more of a chance of getting out than you do...Sai you need to run, go away with this fella and don't look back."

"I can't escape Danzo-"

"Well you have to" Shikamaru said firmly. "Take this money, go somewhere else, even if its somewhere like Gaara's cigarette trailer park town, just go..."Shikamaru bit his lip and then hugged Sai, it was awkward. "I'd kill for a chance at something like what you have...get out of here, you love this guy so go for it!"

Kiba nodded in agreement and then left the room. Sai followed them to the door, stunned and looking out at his two house mates. His eyes drifted to Gaara's door, a pair of dark eyes caught his and...then the door shut. He closed his bedroom door and leaned back against it...did he dare?

* * *

Sakura tiptoed out of the apartment with her bags and slipped down the stairs. Avoiding Lee was an art form but she felt bad about it. After all...he wasn't a bad guy and...well...it was just that...she winced as the lack of excuses formed in her mind. Damn. Damn. Damn.

Naruto was standing at the Taxi, his bag over one shoulder. "We ready to go?" he called.

"Uh...yeah..." Sakura murmured. "Let's roll"

Naruto took out his phone and groaned. "Damn, the battery died at some point...fuck, fuck, fuck"

"Will Sai meet us at the train station?"

"Uh y-yeah...he said if he wasn't here fifteen minutes ago he'd be at the station..." Naruto looked troubled but climbed into the taxi and slipped his phone into his bag.

If he'd looked back over his shoulder he would have seen Neji standing at a car eyes narrowed in rage. If he'd looked to the door he would have seen Lee running down to the door with an envelope in his hands...

But he didn't.

* * *

Mr. Hyuuga cracked his knuckles as he looked across his desk at Neji. "So he's skipped town?"

"Big bags and on the same day his money was handed over" Neji nodded. "Saw him and his ho hop into a car and drive off"

"So the little kitchen witch is trying to run away with Hyuuga money, huh?" he pushed a buzzer and two massive bruisers came in through a side door. "Neji, you're taking a trip, find out where he's going and give him a reminder why we don't do dishonour in this family."

Neji grinned. "Not a problem boss."

If Mr. Hyuuga or Neji had been paying attention they would have heard the gasp outside the window as Hinata rose from the bench amidst the flowers in shock. She turned and rushed towards her rooms already packing in her mind.

* * *

Naruto bit his lip and looked at his watch. The train was about to leave and Sakura was leaning out the window impatiently. "Look, I'm sorry Naruto but if he misses the train he can just catch another" she was deliberately not admitting it was possible...what if Sai had met someone else? What if he'd decided he didn't want to be with Naruto? Was this too fast? Or had it happened too late, the whole going on a trip thing...oh god...oh god...

"I- I guess" Naruto felt his body slump in dismay as he grabbed the handle by the door to pull himself on board.

"WAIT!"

Naruto felt his heart lift and take wings as he heard Sai over the hiss of the train and bustle of passengers, he turned, his eyes searching for that perfect pale face. Sai bounded up onto the train and pressed his lips to Naruto's in a long passionate kiss. There was something else about this kiss it seemed...hopeful? Naruto kissed back as hard as he could. Sakura's whistle broke them out of it.

"I know this is all lovely and junk but...do I have to watch this for the duration of the trip?" Sakura had poked her head out of the train compartment and was smirking widely. "If so...you're gonna have to strip for it." She gave a wink and disappeared into the cabin.

Naruto hugged Sai close to him. "I was worried you'd changed your mind" he said quietly.

"No I just...I'm thinking of making some changes...you uh" Sai looked around as if seeking words from the walls and ceiling. "You make me want to be different...you make me different, better, you – I – I want to make good choices because of you...I am not making any sense" he murmured. "Come on I'm kind of tired..." he smiled and kissed Naruto on the cheek. "It can wait anyway.

Naruto just smiled and held the door for Sai. "This trip may not suck entirely" he murmured quietly.

Sai smiled and pinched his butt as he walked past.

* * *

"A train to where?" Danzo enquired.

Fuen placed the folder on the table. "Some spit in the dirt called Little Leaf...it's one of those appallingly quaint places that you got to get away from pesky things like technology and running water and the invention of the wheel" the tall drag queen sneered. "But a good place to disappear from"

Danzo smirked in response. "You really are an excellent finder"

"I know...shall I get Fudo?"

"And Fuka, Beauty and the Beast...you go too, find him and bring him back"

"He left with a young man, he was seen kissing him on the train..." Fuen was asking permission.

"His little chippy can be chipped away, he is of no use"

Fuen grinned. "I do love to play with the pretty boys" she giggled, rising and striding across the room to the door. "Back soon" she promised with a vicious grin on her face.

* * *

Sai's head lay against Naruto's shoulder, he leaned into the soft hair, smelling the fragrant shampoo he used savouring his pale lovers weight on his shoulder. Sakura closed her book quietly. "...My mom says Sasuke's still in the village"

Naruto's eyes darted down to check Sai was still asleep. The peaceful breathing confirmed it for him and he responded in a hushed whisper. "...I figured. I don't want to go anywhere near him...or my parents"

"Thats going to be tough"

"Iruka wants me to come down...I'm not going to turn him down"

"Naruto...they're your parents"

"Yeah and I don't want them to keep looking at me like they did...I ran for a good reason, Sakura...second I was out of the hospital and never looked back" he laid his hand on Sai's and closed his eyes for a moment. "Sasuke won't have anything to say to me, not in public...I'll stay clear of secluded rooms..."

"And what? Closets? Thats where he was always most comfortable" she sneered.

"You can't go home" Naruto murmured. "Sorry...quote...ugh look...we're staying at the Inn, Asuma won't mind...and he won't try to make me talk to people I don't want to" he added a warning note. Sakura responded by putting her hands up defensively.

"You're just running away from it."

"I know...but I don't want to...I just can't hear them say it."

"...do your scars still hurt?"

Naruto's hand touched the strips of scar tissue on his cheeks. They felt prominent suddenly. "I don't have to relive that night...I don't need to let it haunt me"

Sakura stood up. "But it does" she walked to the door. "I think you've been sabotaging yourself in places all through your life...and its only when you're happy, when you forget the pain that you... escape it. " She left the cabin. "I need food, see you guys soon"

Naruto sat their in the dim light of the evening, staring out the window.

If Naruto had looked down he would have seen Sai's open eyes and the gleam of concern in them.

* * *

TO BE CONCLUDED

* * *

The next chapter should be a doozie, here's hoping I can finish it. I look forward to thoughts, comments, creative critiques, hopes and fears.

Also I have another story started in the High School Musical section...dont role your eyes or tut at me, Lucas Grabeel is so very handsome. Anyway if you like vampires the story is Blood Will Out and its currently T moving to M eventually

T44 Out


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